Wednesday, April 13, 2016

How Do I Relate with my In-laws?

Good morning Aunty Amara, thanks for touching lives and may God continue to bless your home. Aunty, please I need your advice. My husband and I had a little issue which made us to separate for few months, but we're back together and our love has grown since the reunion. Meanwhile, through out the time I was with my parents, the family was never bothered about the issue, the mum and sister only called like twice and this was the family I took like mine and even valued them more than my husband and my own family.
While I was away, I heard the mum said so many negative things about me and that was how they always condemned my co-wife in front of me in her absence but thank God, I never spoke against her with them. Because of their attitude, I made up my mind to concentrate and love my husband alone which I have been doing and to make matters worse, I came back to meet his siblings with their full luggage in my home which showed they never thought I will be back so soon. This made me bring out the other side of me and I also made them realise I know what's happening.
After everything, they packed and left labelling me a bad wife which I told them am glad to answer rather than being a good wife and be suffering. The issue now is that my husband and I and our kids will be traveling to the village and like I used to do before, I will ensure and force my husband to buy things for the mum and siblings and also make sure I buy provisions and foodstuff even though my husband used to refuse and lament that he does not have money to do that and sees it as not being necessary but will later do it just to satisfy me but as it stands now, I don't feel like insisting on that again. Secondly, how do I handle and relate with them in the village cos I don't feel like having that cordial relationship with them again?

You stood in the presence of many witnesses to exchange marital vows with your husband that, you shall love and serve him, that you shall stand with him, that his people shall be your people and that his God shall be your God.
Though you may not have understood the implications of that statement, the truth is that you cannot fulfill your purpose in the life of your husband by isolating his family and relatives. There is every possibility that it was your good heart and the sacrifices that you made earlier that made your husband return back to you when everyone was against you.
Never you get tired of doing good, never you get tired of being a blessing no matter what may have happened in the past or who may have spoken against you. Never you hold so much on the errors of others when you can forgive them and let them know through your actions and attitude, that they can be better instead of being bitter.
I will encourage you to forget about all they said in your back to poison the heart of your husband and look into the heart of God and his exceeding goodness in your life and marriage and then lavish that goodness to them as your family and relatives.
Get them gifts, encourage your husband to always buy something for his family no matter how little, greet them with all gratitude and joy but limit how you discuss with them and also make sure that get all that you need and all your children need so that you don't have any need to demand anything from anyone else.
Your goodness will make those who are bitter to repent and appreciate the goodness of God in your life. Let go, forgive them and forget about all that happened in the past and prepare with joy and gladness to meet them and share God's love and grace with everyone in the village, including those who made mockery of you and those who stood by you.

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