Wednesday, April 27, 2016

I Feel Weak and Alone in my Relationship!

Good morning auntie Amara, I am T***, I am a new friend with you ma. I met a lady on Facebook in the year 2013 precisely February, we have been talking on phone since then till 2015 June when we eventually met with each other. We became so close, I asked her out on my birthday which was on August 30 2015, she gave me an answer also on that very day. So we started the relationship from that moment. Two days after, she told her mentor, her mentor was very angry about it, her mentor said how can she just accept the proposal just like that, she told her parents about it, her father accepted but her mum refused saying that she does not like my surname. I asked her what her decision on that was, she said we should let the will of God be done and she can't disobey her parent in anything, I said its okay.
We became closer day by day, whenever we talked about our relationship sometimes she will only say let the will of God be done. Recently I have been feeling dry, we do argue about calls, sometimes when she is in the midst of her friends, she wouldn't pick my calls, giving me excuse that she does not want them to feel jealous about her relationship etc, even if she picks up my call, she will talk to me just as normal friend, that is casual friend. Anytime I try to correct her on that, she gets upset about it and at the end of the day I will be the one begging her, sometimes when I call her in the morning, she wouldn't pick my call until mid day, when I ask her about the missed calls she gives so many excuses like I was praying, after praying I went to take my bath and then prepare for school etc.
I usually call her 6am, but when I saw that she does not appreciate my calls I stopped, I began to text her, she will not respond to my messages until she feels like, even to say I love you in the midst of her friends, she finds it difficult,until when she is alone she will now be calling me darling, honey, sweetie etc.
Auntie Amara right now am feeling dry about her, sometimes when we start talking, I don't know what to say next which has never been happening before, it has gotten to a point where when she will tell me to change the topic, sometimes she will shun me off. Even her mentor said she should take me home to meet her parent, which she has been postponing.
Ma, what do you think I can do at this very moment? Thanks so much ma, expecting your reply ma.

You are dealing with a lady who is busy enjoying all the attention she's getting from boys and men alike. Her world is in the fantasy land where hot babes mingle and enjoy themselves, she doesn't have the time for your marriage sermon and the last thing she wish for is to be in the prison of your love. 
Of course she's young and since her mother doesn't like your surname (I mean that is ridiculously weird) and she wouldn't want to disobey her mother, she feels that you are bugging her with your attention and your emotions. 
You know what I think? That lady is no angel from heaven, she's a human being who is immature for a relationship, she doesn't behave like someone who's naive but like someone who's out to frustrate you and then milk you dry when she needs something from you. 
So let's help her and help yourself too, stop calling, sending messages and showing any form of attention and affection to her for eight weeks and watch what her reaction will be. You don't need to panic or feel worried, if she's yours, she'll always be yours so relax your mind and be brave as a man.
Since you have made your intentions known and her mentor and father have welcomed your desire, let's give her some space and then work on yourself. Since she isn't comfortable with her relationship with you, she doesn't like talking to you in the company of her friends and she's so so busy that she can't spare a second to talk with you, please get busy with your work and when you don't have anything else to do, study a book or sleep and thank God for your life. 
When she complains, schedule for a date and thrash things out with her. Nobody reaps where they don't sow and no relationship will succeed when one partner is too busy with her life while you groan in pains. 
On a second thought, you may encourage her to write to me here so that I can have a word or two with her and understand why she's suddenly so busy to communicate with you and appreciate your personality and vision for the relationship. 

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