Thursday, April 21, 2016

I'm Losing my Patience Everyday!

Bless you ma, please I'll need your advise on how to handle this issue. I am a 29 years old lady in a relationship with a 31 years old guy for like three years now and though it's a long distant relationship, God has been helping us. It's a Godly relationship, recently things took a different turn, he started acting cold which is unlike him. Immediately I noticed, I kept asking to know what's wrong but he told me it's family pressure but the change in attitude persisted and I asked again, this time around he said the relationship is boring and I was a bit shocked to hear that, but I managed to go on with the conversation.
Afterwards (a week later) my younger sister was hospitalised and I was informed she needed to be taken in for surgery, I felt I should inform him at least his words of encouragement and prayers would help but all he said was eyaa when I pinged him, and he didn't call to ask how successful the surgery went and out of annoyance a day later, I sent him a text telling him that I don't understand his attitude and I think it's best I free him to go and get the kind of relationship he desires. After that text things weren't the same anymore, he called crying, telling me how just a little change in attitude, I gave him red card without giving him a chance, that he explained he was under pressure and all that, though I felt bad that I overreacted sending that text of which I apologised. It has not been easy since this issue happened two months ago, his brother and sister whom he informed about my actions called to confirm what happened and when I explained they all concluded he pushed me to the action I took, that he went too far and they were all on my side including the mum, though they tried to apologise on my behalf for my action, my elder sister inclusive.......
I asked him to know his mind about us if he is has forgiven and is letting go of the hurt, he said he has forgiven but why was I insistent on knowing his mind, do I have anyone on standby, I need to give an answer to him urgently, so I decided not to press further. When we spoke later on, he said we should both go and seek God's face that too much talks entering marriage is not good, so right now we seem to be on break, after that the communication dropped, he pinged once in a while and calls once in a while and I try to communicate too, last week he sent me two songs, one of it says ''love can build a bridge and the second is ''i am never going to say goodbye, I swear to you my love will remain'' both by Westlife. He called to ask if I got the song and if I enjoyed it, I said yes, but things are not like before and somehow I am getting tired of the whole thing, in fact the sister called few days ago to ask, and when I told her we hardly communicate. she wasn't happy even my sister, I am more confused now because since this issue started guys that asked me out in the past which I turned down have all woken up and all disturbing me. It's getting to two months and I don't know if he is still seeking God's face cos he just paused me in a position and I hate it..........
He has been a wonderful person, a source of encouragement and strength, he is nice, but don't know why things are like this now.... This April, he was supposed to come and see my parents after my exam because am running my masters program presently, I finished the exams last week and things are still the same..... I am praying about the issue but just losing my patience by the day, please what do you advise me to do? I don't want to overreact again. Thanks and remain blessed ma.

And to say that he's 31 and acting as though he's 16 is really not encouraging. I mean who sends songs to a lady of 29 and ask her whether she enjoyed it?
I feel that both of you need to sit down and stop singing romantic songs in the name of seeking God's face and face the realities of your relationship.
If for all the reasons best known to him, he cannot tell you in clear terms what he has in mind concerning the relationship after three years of experiencing a Godly relationship, then you may need to move on faster than the speed of light.
The discouraging thing about hanging out with a man who doesn't know who he is and what he needs is that when he wakes up from his fantasy land, you may end up not getting married to him and at the same time lose the privilege to meet your own husband.
So quit this romance without any sense of responsibility and maturity and encourage him to at least tell you his plans so that you can decide whether to wait for him or move on with your life.


  1. It's obvious that the guy is confused or better still immature. If you are my sister I will encourage you to quit him without reservation. Maybe another girl he considers hot is doing your 'job'.

  2. Okide Osita EmmanuelAugust 3, 2016 at 4:44 AM

    ...And to say that he's 31 and acting as though he's 16 is really not encouraging. I mean who sends songs to a lady of 29 and ask her whether she enjoyed it? Aunyt this got me laughfing. Dont blame him, its his level of experience in relationship.sincerely if not the family i dont he can have a decision. writer, 29yrs is not 29 mins, sit him down and know his plans once he has a means of livehood and at the same time he is your type of man. I pray he is not a jealous man in future.


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