Thursday, April 28, 2016

My Husband is Insensitive to my Pains!

Happy Sunday ma'am please mam I need your advice. I love my hubby before and I know he love me too but since I started giving birth, the love revoked, he doesn't care how I feel. When I asked for money he talked like shit before giving me and he stopped me from working, all he know is sex. He does not know how to do it without penetrating.
We live alone in one quiet West African countries, I gave birth to four kids and my last born was twins. Hmmm I went through heaven during those twins' pregnancy, that was why I swore to God that he should give those people that are in need but for me he should shower his mercy and long life for me and my kids.
Have gone through hell in family planning, I have tried all types of it such as pill, (makes my tommy big and look like s&s patient) three months injection,(for nine months without menses and for good two months plus with heavy period that can make me change pads like five times a day with clot), impact under arm (same with inject and to breath in and out is a big problem). That was why am tired of family planning and he does not like condom to use and I think he doesn't want me to be successful in life, my reason are many before I could say that
(1) He makes Visa for many people to travel out of the country such as Canada, America, Europe, Japan e.t.c and many of them go without paying him and he did not care for that, he always says is not his doing
(2) With his connection it is difficult for him to help me look for job even though he refused to send me abroad
3) During my twin delivery he said I'll deliver in any country of my choice but nothing I see than to deliver here. My kids are growing up and I need to work but I just detected that I missed my period which I totally did something to remove it cos I only suffered to nurture kids, and twins are still young even during birthday nothing like happy birthday to you honey, nothing like presenting me on Facebook which some men does to make their wife happy or presenting a gift. Even with pain I went through just to get rid of the pregnancy till now, I have not heard sorry from him and I said this is the time I wake up and look for job and find creche to enroll my twin if possible.
Please aunty Amara I really need advice, am tired, I don't know what to do anymore and it amazes me how all men is just to know only their interest not the concerns about other parties, I just need prayers from you and your fans for God to grant me a good job that will change my life and make me independent please ma'am
Note: No one is perfect so no insult we all know life without work is like corpse

I will suggest that you and your husband visit a health care center where you can meet with a family doctor to recommend the family planning option that is suitable for your body and your hormones with little or no side effects so that you can enjoy sexual intimacy without fears of conceiving or fear of having uncomfortable side effects.
While your husband may not be sensitive to your struggles and challenges, I want to believe that he's providing all that you need to take care of yourself and your children. For the areas where he's not doing so well, I believe that both of you can work on it and agree on how best to help you appreciate him and support him.
Your request to travel abroad while he's here in Nigeria may not be healthy for your marriage and it's possible that he may not have the financial capacity to send everyone abroad, so my candid suggestion will be for you to organise yourself, search for a job, possibly something that gives you enough time for your children and husband and begin with it while you trust God for something better.
Your husband may also be working hard to ensure that you don't lack anything you need at home and that could have made him unable to attend to your needs as much as you desired from him. Please forgive him in advance and draw his attention to the areas where you feel that he needs to improve on and I'm hopeful that things won't be this way for long.

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