Friday, April 29, 2016

My Uncle Always Demand for Money!

Aunty Amara,
God almighty will continue to give you the wisdom in finding solution to people's problem. I appreciate your humanitarian service. God bless you.

My name is C*** from Anambra state. I am single and 36 years old. I am very humble, submissive, and graduate too.
I was born out of wedlock and life has not been easy for me since my childhood. I don't know my father and I'm not interested to ask. It seemed he denied me when my mother conceived me from the look of things.

My mother married and left me with her mother and brother at the age of six years when I was still in primary one. My mother's brother took care of me right from my primary school to the university. Though my mother's brother is not rich. He's just a primary school teacher (now retired). He was providing for me the little he could because he has a family with kids as well.

During my secondary school, he paid my school fees. After school and during the holiday, I go out with boyhood friends to do some menial job to be able to buy myself some clothes and other things I need. At university level, I had a scholarship and the money was paid into his own account yearly. He controlled the money and I never complained or bothered. After my graduation and NYSC, and two years later, one of my uncles (from my mother's side) sponsored me abroad and as God may have it, I'm doing my best.

The problem now is, since I left home to overseas, my mother's brother doesn't encourage or support me in any way. He rather chose to be selfish and demanding incessantly for money. Last time, I gave him money to invest for me but he used the money for his own interest. He never encouraged me or reminded me the necessary things I should do in life(example, building my own house, marry my own wife, etc), but all he keep asking from me is money. Recently I told him that I want to marry, but since I told him that, there is no sign that he supported my plans. I opened business for his wife but he kept asking for money together with his children. I have given him money to start doing something that will generate him income daily but he diverted the money for another thing which I don't know.
Now I have decided that I will marry this year weather he supports my plan or not as far as I have the support of his other brothers, my uncle and other relatives.
Aunty Amara, my worry is that he does not support or encourage me and direct me on some things I should place my priority on rather than asking for money. As I am writing this to you, I got a message on money issues.
Aunty please you and your fans should advice me in this situation. How do I handle this?

I wish I could tell you lies but I don't have the heart to do so. It's possible that the reason why your uncle is not so interested in supporting you or encouraging you or advising you is because you are not biologically from their family. 
Perhaps he has this perception that you are doing better than his children and as such will explore every other means to get more money from you to boost his family. 
Secondly, (this is a fact for those from Anambra state in particular) they are threatened by any child who is not from their roots or kindred and most times don't give anything to such a child no matter how close or good he may be. In summary, they don't recognise the child especially if the child is a male in their family and will never hide their feelings from such a child.
Thankfully, this family has been exceptionally good and kind to you for accepting to support you and encourage you when you were younger and needed a place to call home. And you owe them all the gratitude for their support and sacrifices in making you who you are today. Thank God who blessed you with intelligence and excellent spirit which made you exceptional even when your father rejected you. 
You have done noble by giving back to them and acknowledging them for all they've done (of course you will continue for the rest of your life). Now I'm going to advise you like my brother, please save some money and buy a land in a location where you love and cherish. Build a house where you and your family can retire to whenever you are in the country. 
Thank God who has blessed you with wealth, take your time, organise yourself, get married and let them know when you are ready for that and plead for their prayers (support is optional). Let him know that you have a pressing project at hand and will attend to you once you have the capacity to do so. You cannot succeed this way when you don't make investment for your own children, your own family and your own self. 
No need to regret or feel alone or empty, this is your journey and your wife is to help you succeed more, your family is to help you invest in your future so if nobody supports your vision, it's simply because they can never be in your shoes. If nobody cares about your future, please don't worry but be encouraged by the word of God and strive to be better. Someday your father and those who thought that you won't succeed or you don't belong to their family will look for you and plead to become part of your life. 


  1. To add to Aunty's advice, be careful in choosing a wife. Be very careful and get a good lady who will support your struggles. Someone who will stand by you no matter what. This is so that if you have issues at your uncle, she can be a shoulder to lean on. Pray very well before deciding who to settle with.
    May God bless your struggles.

  2. I also think ur uncle feels u should be indebted to him cause he saw u through life,this is an emotional blackmail. Though you've shown gratitude but u also have ur own life to live

  3. And please whatever project you want to embark on, be it building project, hide it from them, a man's heart is evil, thread with caution, don't be too open to them, hide ur worth so they don't plot ur down fall.


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