Saturday, May 7, 2016

He Abandoned me with Pregnancy!

Good evening Mrs Van-Lare. I thank God for using you to save marriages and relationships including lives. Thanks to Mr Van-Lare for giving you the opportunity to look into our problems. My story is long but going to make it concise. Am a lady of 32, currently running my MSc, and will end it this year by God's grace. Am also teaching in secondary school to help me run the program. Where I work and go to school are in two different states in northern part of Nigeria.
I came to know a guy through my girlfriend in the state where I study. She told me this guy was looking for who to marry. He's 35, works with Federal Court of Appeal. When we met, we liked our physic. All this started 5th January this year. After two weeks, when I visited, he started introducing me to his friends. It was fun, the family that he has in the north here is his eldest sister with the husband. When this guy went to his eldest sister to tell her that he has found a wife, the sister was not in support because am from Anambra while they're from Abia state. Her reasons was Anambra women maltreat their husbands. This happened in February.
Because of that, he didn't take me to the sister again. This guy and I have already planned to travel to the east to see my people and the rest of his people during Easter. Towards the end of February I discovered that I have taken in. When I told this guy, he was happy. When I visited in March, we celebrated it. When it was Easter, I asked him, when are we traveling? He said it's no longer the way we planned it. I asked when again, he said till further notice. I begged him, lets be fast before the pregnancy will begin to show. He said he will schedule another time.
Uptil now nothing has been done. When I text him, he will misunderstand the message and turn it to abusive text. I have stopped sending messages. This my girlfriend has tried to know his reasons but to no avail. She later went to the sister to tell her about the pregnancy but she took it for granted. Aunty Amara, this guy has abandoned me with the pregnancy, he doesn't pick my calls. I got his message that he's no longer interested in the relationship. I asked him what about the pregnancy, which he has refused to reply. I have asked for financial support because of the pregnancy, which he has ignored. Am devastated.
When I told my elder sister about the whole thing, she told me to abort the pregnancy, that it will bring shame to our family. When I said no to abortion, she no longer call me. My younger sister is also aware except my mum. My sister said they don't know how to tell my mum to avoid causing high blood pressure for her.
My mum is too emotional, how do I tell her and what do you advise me about this guy. Please AVLites read patiently.

Organise yourself and prepare for the arrival of your baby. One of the painful deception of some men is that they will promise you what they know that they won't do just to be in between your legs and deposit their sperm inside of you, after which they will start making excuses to deny their baby.
You are only a victim of an irresponsible man whose testosterone was on the rage and you made your body available for his experiment.
You understand that both of you are responsible for your baby and need to plan on how to take good care of your baby when he arrives. What you need to do is inform his family of your pregnancy, then report to the welfare for them to summon him to provide all that you need for your antenatal care.
If he denies your pregnancy, then patiently take care of yourself until your baby arrives and a DNA test is carried out to ascertain the paternity of your baby.
I may not know how your mum may handle this information but I doubt if she will lose control of her emotions because of this but if you ask me, I will suggest that you visit her and let her know that you are pregnant and explain in details what transpired. Let her know that you are prepared to manage yourself and assure her that everything will be sorted out.
That you are pregnant for him doesn't mean that you must get married to him, pregnancy is not a criteria for choosing who to marry, so focus more on preparing yourself for the arrival of your baby and don't let anyone else or anything push you into getting married to an irresponsible man.


  1. You didn't go about it wisely, we all have our stories but looking before leaping is very important, at these age, abortion isn't an option, God remains God, He's wise, definitely in the future you will see His hands, meanwhile, there should be no next TIME. ..

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