Thursday, May 5, 2016

How Do I Get this Pain out of my Heart?

Hello good evening ma'am. God bless you, your family and ministry. Please ma'am I need your advice on my issue.

I met a guy and his family and everything was cool until November last year when I told him to not only plan on our marriage issue but act on it cos I believe success is when you plan and act on it. But he started behaving like I have another guy and wanted to ditch him.
I am 28 years old and he is 34 years from my state and also the same denomination. I have taken a lot of bullet for this guy from my family. He refers me to either his sister or brother when it comes to decision and on one of this discussion with his brother he made this statement I find difficult to forget as if his brother have been taking care of my upkeep and that of my family.
I felt like sad and blamed my hubby to be. The one that made me to decide to leave him is recent excuse saying the mum is really not in support of him marrying me.
Please ma'am the last thing I want is to drag a man with his mum not that I don't love him. It hurts me like my heart is ripped off but I had to offend him with the things he hate much cos I want him to leave me and stop talking to me.
Now I have achieved that but I don't seem to forget him or stop loving him.
Even after five months am still telling any guy that asked me out that am in a relationship without even knowing when I do.
It's a distant relationship and no sex was involved.
Please how do I get this pain out of my heart and heal?
Thanks.


If I understood your mail, you dated a certain man who couldn't make any decision on his own, a man who didn't have a voice and a conviction of his own, a man who referred you to his brothers and sisters for grooming and tutelage, and a man who listens to his mother more than he listened to you.
You reminded him that wishes and workings were never related and that made him realise that he was with the wrong partner, but what I find it difficult to understand is why you feel that he's the best that God denied you of in your life.
Why do you limit God by believing that he's the best that you never had? What made you feel that if you were still with him that he would have gotten married to you?
Sometimes God can use unpalatable circumstances to reveal his purpose for your life and could use the painful experiences of your past relationships to prepare you for your best marriage on earth. You need to wake up from your pains and seek the face of God, he is never late when it comes to fulfilling his promises for your life.
You need to realise that your ex wasn't a bad person, he wasn't your enemy and you were not the reason why your relationship never worked out, the simple reason is because he was never your husband in life and if God never made him your husband, your efforts and sacrifices wouldn't have made him your husband.
You need to put your past behind you and remember that whatever you feel that your partner has, there's someone somewhere who has a double fold of those virtues and attributes that you will only be amazed at how God chose to hide him from you.
Please do not use anyone else to grieve over your ex, but take your time, cry if you wish to, but encourage yourself with God's word and allow God to lead you to the man that he has prepared for your life.
Build on healthy friendship and give your heart to the things that you love and cherish, channel your emotions to solving problems and improving on yourself and never you allow any day pass without meditating on the word of God concerning your journey.
It may feel like you are lonely and empty but not to worry, God is already at work to give you a better partner that will perfect your joy if only you can look up and remember that faithful is he who promised and will never disappoint you.

3 comments:

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