Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Is He seeing Someone else?

Aunty Amara good afternoon. Aunty I want to thank you for all your good advice, but aunty am so confused right now. There is this guy that I met some time last year, we talked but it did not last for long. He stopped picking my calls he even told me he wanted sex from me just to scare me away because I told him no sex initially.
Not up to two weeks now, he sent me a friend request on Facebook which I accepted and we started talking and he apologized for everything he did, telling me that he loved me then but he was facing a great challenge and never wanted to hurt me, that was why he had to cut everything. He told me that he had always loved me and that he wants us to be a couple again. He asked where am from and other vital questions and he also told me his likes and dislikes and said that we would discuss better when we see face to face.
But aunty the problem is that he is the type that is not used to calling. Each time I ask him, he will tell me that it is not part of him to call that he doesn't even recharge his phone sometimes. I always call him because I love him so much. Sometimes when I call, he will cut the call and call me back immediately while sometimes he calls. He told me that I can make that change but aunty am confused, maybe he is seeing someone else.
Please aunty I need your advice because he is coming next week. Please I want to know the kind of things to ask him. Please aunty help me please, it is urgent. And again should I stop calling him or should I continue? Please aunty help me. Thank you so much.

In as much as we are in an information communication and technology generation, using just any kind of media, there are some individuals who may not be comfortable with all these media hype, from phone calls, chatting and other platforms. So it's possible that someone might not be so great with calling or sending messages across to you. 
That notwithstanding, you need to understand his personality and find out what he's interested in and why he feels that you are the best person to meet his needs. 
Find out more about his previous relationships, what happened, and why he feels that you are different from others. What's his vision for himself and the relationship and what are the values that he cherishes in a relationship. 
What's his personal relationship with God like, his place of worship, and his core values in life. Get to know his blood genotype and his hobbies, skills and passion in life. 
You cannot ask all the questions in one date, but you can start up with the basics and progress with time. 
I will suggest that you don't pour all your love on him in a manner that will make you forget that you are meant to be mindful of his own commitment and devotion to the relationship. 
No matter how much you may love an individual, your love alone cannot make the relationship work because love is best served when both partners are in dire need of love and is most abused when one individual showers so much love to an individual who might just be taking a ride with you but heading to a different direction.
This is the time to build up your friendship with him and listen more, observe more, learn more, and talk only when it's necessary. Don't stop calling if that makes you feel loved but don't choke him up with so much attention and love that he feels that he doesn't need to do anything as long as you are willing to do everything to make the relationship work. Call when it's necessary and at some time, do not call to create a room for desire and affection in your relationship.

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