Saturday, May 28, 2016

Mummy is Stupid, Ugly and Annoying!

Aunty, am so depressed right now cos I feel like have lost it. Am a mother of three children. Yesterday, I asked the two senior ones to tidy up their room. My first born(9 years old) wanted to go out and play, but I said no way- not until when their room is clean.
She came to tell me that she is through, and that the remaining work is for her sister, I said no that they do it together- all I want to see is a clean room. She left angrily back to their room.
After everything, the sister came to tell me that she saw her older sister writing something in her diary and she knows is about me.
When she left for school this morning, I looked for the diary in their room and what I saw was heartbreaking. I quote "I hate my mummy, she is stupid, very ugly and very annoying. She is a bitch".
I can't even think of what I did to deserve such words from my 9 years old girl. I stay alone with them in abroad, my husband come and go-he stays in Nigeria. Please, I need your advise and your fans on how go about it and how I can help her overcome so much anger in her.

One of the fastest traits children learn especially when they starts having siblings is competition and injustice. Many a times parents trigger this by not giving equal attention and affection to all their children, thereby creating an impression in the mind of one child or another of unfairness, injustice and more preference to one than the other.
For the younger one to come so close to reveal the letter of the older one is an evidence that you maybe closer to the younger one than you are to your first daughter.
Why did your first daughter react in such a manner? She was given a task to do with her sister, there's every possibility that she did it alone while the younger sister was playing and singing. So when she reported to you that she has done her part, hopeful that you will compel her younger sister to do the rest, and you ended up giving her more responsibility, giving her a cold shoulder, making her feel that she doesn't deserve to be appreciated and encouraged by you, pushed her into feeling so much anger and calling you all the names that she has learnt from her vocabulary.
Thank God it's still in the season of children's day celebrations, buy her a surprise gift, something that you can bet that she loves so so much, get for two of them remember but make her own unique and special. Pamper her and celebrate her, let her know how beautiful she is, how much you are proud of her and how much you love her.
Ask her if you offended her and hear her out, don't be afraid of what she will say, it's best that she expresses herself than for her to pretend to be happy with you and then write a horrible letter against you.
When she's done, apologise and assure her that you won't allow only her to do everything but will share it with everyone. Ask her if you should join her to dress her bed and clean her room, (I bet her answer will be no). Then remind her that she's the role model for her siblings and that she should always encourage her younger ones to support her.
Make her realise that you don't hate her or are you being insensitive to her feelings or love others more than you love her but that you want her to be better than anyone else and to learn all that mummy can do.
When both of you are done, give her a deep hug and tell her how much you love her and please don't be tempted to talk about the diary so that you can give her some privacy and at the same time monitor her development emotionally and psychologically.
What I will suggest that you do next time whenever you send both of them to do a task, endeavour to supervise them, and in a situation where she feels that she's doing more than her sister, appreciate her, pet her and entice her by telling her of some incentives that you have for her when the task is done. Validate her positively and let her know how much you are proud of her, she will definitely be glad to do all the task alone.
Learn to balance everything whenever you are sharing duties with your children and try as much as you can never to favour one of your children over others. Always validate your children and correct them with love, patience and understanding. Listen to everything they say and be interested in discussing with them, draw them closer to your heart and when they've done well, buy them some gifts to appreciate them.


  1. If my mama use broom on top ur head, u no go get hand call her ugly. Imagine. Giving her gift n petting her will make her feel special, offend her tomoro, she will throw tantrums and expect apology. Mk sure u bring them for holiday in Nigeria where u can bulala them to correct their oyibo sense

  2. I dey tell you .. This oyibo Nigerian children can misbehave like say tomorrow nor dey .. My child cannot try that bullshit with me, she is the elder one and she knows exactly what to do as small as she is not to talk of when she gets to 9 yrs.. All that girl needs is to come back to Nigeria for one holiday then you give her sanko(cane) in just a little quantity and that stubbornness will vanish..( Spare the rod and spoil d child ) people nor dey hear!!! I don't use cane on my kids but at the sight of it there is total control...

  3. Send her to Nigeria, does she no the pains u took to bring her the world but before then have a heart to heart talk with her find out why she hate you? Or is there something u are doing that the little girl is not happy with?.

  4. Send her to Nigeria, does she no the pains u took to bring her the world but before then have a heart to heart talk with her find out why she hate you? Or is there something u are doing that the little girl is not happy with?.

  5. Abeg dis pikin needs to come back to 9ja, to witness change in all ramifications both sense correction and hardships of the country... (I bet u if she go back to una base, she no go get diary again)

  6. Give her privacy at 9year??? This is ridiculous!being the elderly among her siblings gives her the edge of doing more house shores until the younger ones come of age. The mother was not wrong in anyway. You must explain that your grammar " my mum is stupid, ugly and annoying to me"

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  8. Hahahahaha, some mothers for here dey vex oooh.


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