Monday, May 16, 2016

What Could be Wrong?

Good evening Mrs Amara. My husband and I have been together for seventeen years, ten years in marriage and seven years for courtship. Our sex life has been ok though not romantic, but at least we meet and enjoy our passion for like six times averagely in a month.
After I gave birth two years ago, my husband has not touched me or moved by any of my advances towards him. What could be wrong? Please I need your candid opinion. I have talked with him, he said he's not just interested and he doesn't have any health issues.
There is no hidden evidence anywhere that he is cheating. He still continues to take care of me and our children(monetary). He doesn't show me any love, affection or attention which he shows to our children. What do I do? Sincerely I can't continue like this. I need to be loved, I am in my mid thirties. Thanks for your candid advise. Shalom.

One of men's greatest woes is when they are no longer able to perform as much as they did when they were younger. They will simply look for ways to avoid having sex and rather choose not to show any affection than to last for two minutes and then the Lazarus goes down again.
What could be responsible for his attitude towards sex? It could be as a result of more sugar in his blood stream, excess fat in his body, some counteractive drugs for blood pressure and the likes.
It also could be that you have added so much fat that he's no longer as attractive as you were when he first met him or that your hygiene has been compromised on. It might also be that your vagina after birth was too wide that he no longer feel the grip of the vagina in his penis and that has made him lose the excitement of hopping in for sex.
Having sex six times in a month is not even as romantic as couples should be but it's better than nothing at all. What I will suggest that you do is let him know how frustrated and discouraged you are that you cannot enjoy the sexual cravings of your body anymore. Let him know that you are weeping in pains and rejection ever since you put to bed and that you are willing to support him or help him to overcome any difficulties or challenges he might have.
It's also important to encourage him visit an urologist (not just a doctor) to examine his penis and the prostate to know how healthy and safe it is.
On your part, work on the hygiene and his choice of meal. If your vagina is lose, please consider doing kegel floor exercise to help make the muscle as responsive as they were before delivery.
For his meal, cut down on preparing fatty meals for him, go more for vegetables, minerals, and fruits. You can prepare fruit salad, vegetable soup with white meat, you can go for boiled meals instead of the normal fries and junks.
Prepare a fruit juice for him and add a little quantity of moringa, garlic, white onions and ginger. It's very very good for his health, and will keep his body fit and also help his Lazarus to wake up and be as active as he was.
If he consumes alcohol, kindly encourage him to minimise the content and if possible stop the consumption of the alcohol. Then prepare vegetable soups like bitterleaf soup, okro soup or the other variations of vegetable soup. This will help him burn off any fat and provide enough blood in the system.
In all, do not give up, but be patient with him and do understand that men do experience erection challenges from 40 years especially when their lifestyle and eating habits were not so good.
I feel that if he can open up and possibly talk to an urologist or better still encourage him to write to me here so that I can have a word or two with him, perhaps you will be the one to complain that he's too active with sex.

1 comment:

  1. Amara now uses the word Lazarus after that girl post some weeks back. She was indeed funny in that her post


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