Friday, June 10, 2016

Is He Playing with my Heart?

Good evening ma'am. Please I need an advice as I am confused about my relationship with my guy. A friend introduced me to his friend who is based abroad. He came to Nigeria to see me in the month of November last year. And we both loved each other and we were so free. He went back in December and then came again in March. Then he took me to meet his family and they loved me. He left Nigeria in the month of April.
In twenty four hours in a day we can use fifteen hours very well loving each other even when am in the office. All of a sudden I discovered I was the only one loving myself and him. Sometimes I call and he won't pick and will call me late night because he knows I will go to work the next and won't want to talk much on the phone with him.
One day, I called him and asked if there was something I did to offend him because his attitude changed towards me. He said no. When it continued, I took one step back in order not to be distracted at work and I didn't say a word to his friend who linked us. Besides there was no quarrel between us that I will have to complain about to his friend. I kept to myself.
One day his friend called me and was saying so I am having issues with his friend and I didn't say a word to him. I told him I didn't know what to say he did because we didn't have any quarrel and I did asked him if I offended him and he said no. I focused in my job.
One day he called and apologised that God knows I didn't offend him, that I should please forgive him. I accepted him back. After few days this continued. This morning his friend came to my office and asked if we are okay, I then told him that he started again but I already took him out of my body so that I don't get distracted at work. He begged me that I should please hold on for him to get to the root of this.
I sincerely love him but I don't want him to toy with my heart. Ma'am kindly help

You are doing the right thing by taking two steps back to enable you examine the relationship between you and your partner. You don't need to worship him, and throw yourself to him simply because you love him but simply observe him, listen, and learn.
Don't take him so serious because your friend introduced him to him but take him serious when he's committed and devoted to the relationship. Take him serious not because he professes his love for you but because he communicates consistently with you. Take him serious not because he always apologises to you after ignoring you for weeks and months but take him serious when you can see through his heart, when you can tell what his day looks like, when he chooses to share his heart with you by opening up to you and making you part of him by sharing part of himself with you.
Sometimes men who live outside the country may have a relationship they're keeping to make ends meet and as a result may not be committed to the supposed relationship they genuinely desire.
While some keep those relationship to impress their family and perhaps impregnate the lady before abandoning her for their contract wives. This is why you shouldn't rush the relationship by pouring your love on him, but by taking your time to understand his personality, his passion, his purpose in life and his vision for the relationship so that you can relate with the realities of his personality and not his promises to you.
If he genuinely loves you, he will definitely make out time to be with you but if he's not interested in you, he will always give you excuses.
Be calm and entrust everything to God and allow him to reveal his purpose for your life and relationship.


  1. Some of us don't understand the meaning of spending 15 hours loving each other, biko kowatiate

  2. My dear...hope you didn't give him the cookie. Cuz my guess is that...No more love after eating the cookie.


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