Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Scared of Being Used and Dumped!

Good afternoon ma. I bless God concerning your life and this page. Am a lady of 21 years of age preparing to go back for my HND. There is this guy I meet around January and he was serious that he wants a relationship with me that will lead to marriage, we share the same month and day and he is fourteen years older than me.
I told my mum about it and she said she has gone out and met her pastor, that he said he is my husband only if am submissive. He has met my mum's younger brother and they have discussed about the plans he has for me. Though he said he will wait for me till I finish my two years program, that after then he wants to settle down with me.
Ma, the problem am having now is that he believe in sex before marriage, most times he feels like romancing me but am scared. If he is truly the will of God for me, can't he wait? Am scared of being used and dumped.

What your mother's pastor said was his opinion and there's every possibility that he may not be the one for you.
Let me ask you, what do you know about this man? What's his personality like? How does he communicate with others? What is his temperament? What is his vision for himself and for the relationship?
What happened in his previous relationships or is he just coming in contact with a lady for the first time in his life and can't help but get married to her? What attracted you to him or did his sweet words made you forget that marriage is not a dream built with words but a lifetime journey with some difficulties and challenges of life?
Have you asked the vital questions, have you taken your time to grow in friendship with him to the point that you can tell that he's the kind of a man that will stand by you and support you in your endeavours?
If you are not emotionally prepared for the consequences of having a sexual intimacy with your partner, please do not be mute because he intimidated you with marriage but let him know your thoughts and allow him to decide whether to continue with the relationship or move on.
He seems to be more interested in your vagina than he is in knowing who you are. I don't want to talk about your pastor here but please do not allow anyone to push you into getting married to a man you don't know or engage in sexual intercourse when you are not ready to handle whatever comes with sex.
If he's genuinely in love with you, he will be patient with you and will not pressurise you into having sex with him. Please calm your nerves down and evaluate your relationship in all sincerity so that you don't fall into a ditch and get hurt.

1 comment:

  1. He does not want to see u through u by marrying u and taking care of ur bills, but chose to patiently wait.
    Tell him to also wait for u to graduate/marry him before sex.
    Onye nwere sense...Mtcheeew


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)