Thursday, July 14, 2016

His Family Has Inflicted so Much Pains on Me

Aunty Amara thanks for the advice you gave me the last time.... Ma'am, I am writing this mail with tears in my eyes, please I need your advice and that of your fans. I met my hubby in 2010 and we got married in 2012, we are blessed with two kids. We are not from the same place but we love each other.
The problem now is his parents, they want to be making decisions in our home and we are not living in the same house. After I had my second baby I became so ill that I could not take care of my baby. After going to two different hospitals no solution, my mother-in-law (MIL)asked him to take me to her of which he did and I was taken to another hospital, from there still no solution, and after some days I was discharged.
During my stay in the hospital, none of them brought food for me, I was buying food from outside but my hubby was doing his best to take care of me. When we got home, after two days I fainted because I could not eat, so my MIL asked me to go back to my family so that they can also take care of me which was good for the sake of my child and I.
When I got to my place, through prayers and series of test they discovered that my heart is enlarged so they asked me to come back to Lagos so that I can meet with a specialist. When I came back, my father-in-law(FIL)was asking my parent that why did they allow me to come back when I am not fully recovered.
Aunty I was surprised to hear that from my FIL. I spent some months going for treatment and my FIL never called to ask how I was doing but when he heard that am traveling back to my family because I could not cope taking care of the kids and my health all alone, he called and started insulting me that I should not take my first child along. I didn't say anything and he called my parents and told them that am controlling his son.
This is someone I suffered with from one room to a flat, the car he is using, I gave him half of the money and lots of things I cannot mention. Yesterday my FIL came when my mum was around and told me to pack and leave that am controlling his son.. I have packed my things but my hubby has been begging me to stay and my heart is not with him again due to so many pains his family has caused me. Please ma advice me.

Your husband need to sit up and do something about the incessant embarrassment, insult, verbal abuse and pain that his parents are hurling at you. Pleading for you to stay is not enough, he should rise up and defend you and protect you from these attacks.
It's both inhumane, insensitive and wicked for his family to come into your own family and dictate what happens in your marriage. Who makes jest and mockery of the sick? Personally I feel your pains and if your husband cannot protect you from his family and he can't condemn the constant interference from his parents, I will suggest that you take your children back home.
Being a man is not about having a penis, it also includes defending, and protecting his territory which his wife is his first priority. Going about begging you and keeping quiet won't solve this issue. He needs to make his stand known, whether you are controlling him or not is none of their business, whatever rocks your boat is good for your home.
I won't suggest that you leave immediately but let your husband know that it is no longer a begging affair but he needs to be proactive, decisive and vocal about this embarrassing interference in your marriage. They should take care of their own issues and leave both of you to manage your own challenges.
Please forgive your in-laws and take good care of your health and children. I wouldn't encourage you to give up on your marriage because of this but work together with your husband and deal with this so that both of you can enjoy your marriage and freedom.

1 comment:

  1. Block the phone numbers of your FIL and MIL immediately. You don't have to hear their heartless threats. And learn to stand up for yourself and seperate yourself from them. All these in law's with their wahala. If any of them tell you anything again, ask them that if you were their child, would they still say such? Get treated and get well again.


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