Sunday, July 3, 2016

How Could He Betray me this Way?

Aunty Amara, am writing this message in tears and confusion. Am in a relationship for over two years now but along the line things began to change. We met on Facebook anyway but we saw each other before we started the relationship.
For over months he doesn't pick my calls or call but restrict our communication to chats. It is a distance relationship and he doesn't bother if we see or not.
Following the issue of communication, I have been trying to find out why we should only talk through chat. Since this year, we have not seen due to some issues he said he was having with his work place.
Aunty in short no need for all those stories, just this morning, I was going through my Facebook account, I saw one female picture on his wall though I have seen it before. I decided to know more about the picture. I was going through the girl's profile and pictures, I saw a traditional wedding picture of my so called man with the girl. Then the information on the girl's profile shows that the got married 12th of March this year.
We have made arrangements to see few months ago but it failed, and this is the reason. But he said we will see ending of this month, I don't know how to go about this. It pains me a lot because I lost my virginity to this man and have been sincere to him. I asked him before we started if has someone engaged or married,he said no. I have rejected lots of marriage proposals just because of him. After everything this is what am rewarded with. I thought it pays to be truthful.

I'm sincerely sorry for the way and manner your partner betrayed your trust and fidelity to him and the relationship, but the truth is that he left enough footprints of evidence that he was not entirely interested in the relationship and although he may have promised heaven on earth, his actions showed that he wasn't with you in the relationship. 
He first started by limiting your conversations to chat messages. While social media is a great tool for communication, purposeful and strong relationships doesn't depend entirely on social media for their communication because there's a lot of emotions, confessions and opinions that mere chatting with him cannot express. 
At a point he became too busy with his work and as a result couldn't schedule time to be with you. This was the most significant sign that he was no longer with you but I guess you were carried away by the influence of his sexual escapades and his promises of love to you. 
No matter how busy a man might be, his heart is never far away from his treasure, so the moment he couldn't make out time to be with you, the moment your dates failed, the moment you realised that he had so much to do in the office was actually the moment he left you and forgot about you. 
Now that you have seen everything, I don't think that there's any need for the date because it won't change what you have already confirmed, instead it will only make the wound more painful, and crush your esteem before him. 
However I feel that you should congratulate him and let him know that you have already seen his wife and that you are happy with his decision, but he could have been more honest and sincere by telling you the truth instead of hiding under his company and telling you lies. 
Talk about it with him and hear him out. Then you may then decide whether meeting him is necessary or not. 
Sometimes when God desires to bless you with the best that you deserve, he takes away the good that you desire because he knows that it is the only way for you to realise that you deserve better. 
So painful it is I know but one thing that I also must inform you is that God is not dead, he won't disappoint and won't have allowed this to happen to you if he never had someone better in your future. 
You must cheer up and surrender everything to God, you are not ugly because you didn't marry him. It also doesn't mean that every individual on Facebook is fake because your partner dumped you, rather it only means that God has a better way to bless you with your own husband and my prayer is that God will heal your heart and help you discover that a failed relationship doesn't mean that you won't meet your own husband.

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