Wednesday, July 27, 2016

How Do I Convince my Fiancé that I Trust Him?

God bless you seriously and immediately ma, am a lady of 25 years, have been in a relationship for three years. My problem is how do I convince my fiancé that I trust him? He thinks and feel I don't trust him. This is because of something I kept away from him for a long time.
It all happened while I was in school, I had a male friend who was doing his PGD studies, he offered to help me out with materials for my project. Along the line he told me to come to the house to get the materials I needed. When I went there the guy forced himself on me.
I felt so bad that I didn't tell anyone even my fiancé because I felt no one will believe me since I was the one who walked with my two legs to his house. After some months, whenever I am with my fiancé, I fight within me, something will say tell him another will say don't tell him, he will blame you for going there, just keep it to yourself.
It continued like this for sometime until he asked if I had something am hiding, at that moment I told him everything. The problem is he says I don't trust him, that I shouldn't have kept this from him if truly I trust him and that it hurts him whenever he remembers it.
Please ma what or how should I go about it. I truly love him. Thank you.

I actually agree with him because if you truly trust him, you won't keep such a sensitive information about your virginity and sexuality from him.
If this incident happened when you were already in a relationship with him, you owe him the courtesy of informing him of what transpired so that he can intervene or look for ways to protect you against rapists.
What if the rapist exposed you to sexually transmitted infections and both of you are sexually active, don't you know that by keeping quiet, you will quietly share the same infections with your fiancé? What if you needed some medical check up, don't you feel that your fiancé ought to know about that?
Accountability is not an option if you hope to build a relationship that will stand the test of time. Anything that affects your sexual intimacy, your heath and your safety is what you should let your partner know of so that he won't be in the dark.
Going forward, I will encourage you to apologise for your errors and plead for his patience and understanding to make amends of your mistakes. Let him know your fears and worries which made you withhold the information from him and assure him that such won't repeat itself anymore in your relationship.
Learn to be transparent and sincere with him and always communicate with him so that you can strengthen the bond of intimacy and trust in your relationship.
With time and improved commitment and communication, I believe that he will learn to trust you again.

1 comment:

  1. Recommended DOWNLOADS to get to clear your confusion:

    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    *2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    *3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    *4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    *11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang

    DOWNLOAD@ ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101



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