How Do I Win Her Heart?

God bless you with more wisdom and health so you will continue to proffer solutions to our mind boggling problems. My relationship with my girlfriend has suffered series of problems and disagreements over the months.. I called the shots initially streaming down from the fact that my girlfriend was unable to set boundaries for herself and our relationship by consistently allowing people to come between us and making us fall apart eventually..
I felt bad about everything, nonetheless, I thought calling the shots was just a hot-step jump and that we all seek love as a result of our imperfections. Mummy, it's been four months of trying to resolve issues but my girlfriend was adamant and doing little to compliment my effort..
I decided to finally let go of her but just when I thought I was finally getting over her, she came back asking for a come back... Initially, I thought that was all I ever wanted but now I feel it's my worst nightmare.. She barely calls.. I do most of the calling, something very unusual of her.. She talks so raw with no emotions attach to it..
I did have a heart to heart chat with her about the issue and she did confess to me that she doesn't really love me like she used to but all she knows was that she still wants to be with me and that I should work on bringing us back..
Auntie Amara, have I completely lost it? It feels like I've ran out of ideas.. How do I bring back the love? I genuinely and unconditionally love this girl.. Please speak to my heart.. We both are graduates and working now.


There are two major ways to bring her back to you. One is pretty demanding, and slow but you will appreciate her as you embark on the journey. The second one is pretty fast, very very efficient and effective but it's actually not the great tips that you may explore if you wish to deepen your affection with her.
Let me start with the second one, simply ignore her for weeks, say two weeks, act as though you are already dating someone else and observe her attitude. Sometimes when a lady realises that her partner loves her so so much, she tends to demand more than is realistic and healthy for the relationship. She becomes selfish and demanding and then act as though she's doing you a favour. For such individuals, this is the most efficient way to get them pleading for another chance, another time, another opportunity to shower their love on you. And a lady who genuinely love you will definitely run back to you.
The second one which I suggest you adopt is a bit slow, demanding and somehow difficult but rewarding. It's like petting a baby and ignoring all her flaws.
It's like a journey, every step will take you closer to her heart and every experience will reveal the uniqueness of her personality.
Here are the tips..
Deepen your communication with her, listen more and complain less. Communicate more and talk less.
Don't be in a hurry to spot her mistakes and her shortcomings, always remember this word 'I understand', it will help you so much in your journey.
Don't just call to fulfill all righteousness but call to build up your knowledge of her personality. When you call, probe deeper into her heart and soul. For example, how are you doing today? Fine, how fine if you don't mind? What made today exceptional for you? You don't sound bright, is anything the matter? What's in that beautiful mind of yours? Hope nobody is disturbing my angel?
You can decide to call and simply listen to her while you allow her to talk and express herself.
Always tell her 'I love you', though some ladies may feign that it doesn't work, the truth is that every time a lady hears those affirmative word of love and affection, she feels happy and rejuvenated. It boosts her confidence and self esteem.
Even when she's sounding raw and with no emotions, remind her of those qualities that attracted you to her, and end the conversation with words of affection and affirmation.
Be extremely and exceptionally patient with her and remember that winning her heart comes with patience and understanding.
Surprise visits, dates, gifts, thoughtful messages also has the potential to soften her heart and remind her of the joy and peace that comes with loving you.
Avoid shouting, exchange of words, arguments and any other altercation that may affect her negatively and strive to always make your point without breaking her emotions.
It's possible that she truly loves you but is struggling with some of the challenges that's confronting your relationship. Perhaps you may suggest that she writes to me with her account let me hear from her and find out what her concerns and fears might be and suggest ways both can improve on your relationship.