Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I Have no Idea how to Overcome my Fears.

Good day ma. I really appreciate the good work you are doing, may God continue to reward you. This is the first time I would be voicing out what happened to me when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was abused by two of our female house helps. I remember vividly how they took turns to touch me and instructed me to touch them back (crying).
I didn't know back then what I was doing, but as I grew older, that memory never left. I hated myself, and I think I have carried that hatred to my adulthood. I have two kids, but I don't trust any house help around them. I don't let them play with my kids, I don't leave them with my kids, in fact I suspect every move they make. I am so afraid, afraid my kids will go through what I went through.
My husband doesn't even know about this. Even when I try to relax a little, I suddenly have this panic attack. I have sent packing two house helps already because of this trust issues. I live in constant fear and I have no idea how to overcome them. Please help.

First of all I need to talk to the little you who was abused many years ago. 
Young beautiful girl, I wish I could save you from the hands of the evil house help whose intention was to destroy your life, distract you from fulfilling your purpose in life, introduce you to the spirit of lesbianism and push you against yourself. 
I wish I was close enough to rescue you when mummy was busy with other things. But I thank God who never allowed their evil intentions to become a reality in your life. I thank God who helped you overcome this evil seed they planted in your life and I thank God that he favoured you with a good man, good home and lovely children.
Today you have grown and you are now a beautiful mother, the scares of your childhood may never leave your memory but the wisdom and grace of this painful experience will forever be part of your journey and will serve as a guide and check to help you take good care of your children and also encourage others to check up on their children. 
To achieve this divine mandate, you must forgive yourself for what you experienced in the past. You must forgive those house help who wanted to ruin your life but never succeeded. You must release them from your heart and surrender them to God so that you heal from the pains, hatred, bitterness and fear of what happened in the past. 
You must realise that no matter how careful and protective you maybe, you need God's grace to train your children and bring out the best in them. 
No matter how horrible our experiences might be, there is healing when we choose to forgive and let go because life is a passing phase and what we don't let go will definitely drag us into doing things that may have a negative impact in our journey.
Your current house help is not the same individual or entity to the lady who exploited your body. 
Please remember what God did for you by letting go of your shortcomings, weaknesses and errors as an individual, and ask him for the grace to forgive them and heal your heart of the pains and psychological agony you experience as a result of what happened to you. 
I believe that if you choose to let go, God will give you the grace and wisdom to groom your children and also be at peace with yourself and your family.

1 comment:

  1. I know that feeling because I have been there too. But the honest truth is, you can't keep running away forever. You can also not keep blaming others for what happened in your past or yourself for been vulnerable, but you will be blamed if you give your past the chance to get hold of you and destroy you. God allowed you go through all what you did for a reason, and am sure that reason is not to destroy you. You need to start trusting yourself again, because only then can you trust others.


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