Monday, July 25, 2016

My Husband Cannot Last up to Two Minutes in Bed.

Good evening ma. Please I saw where you encouraged someone to write to you if they are having any sexual challenges in their marriage and I picked courage to share mine. This problem I know of it before I married my husband and I am ready to be with him till death do us apart, all I want is solution.
My husband cannot last up to two minutes, sometimes my little romance can make him cum and once he cums cannot come up again till the next day or more. There is no desire for sex again. We can stay more than a month in same bed without touching each other.
We have tried some drugs which 'Adam desire' is one of them but he complains that the drugs are causing him chest pains and have done some hormonal profile which the doctor told him that there is no better drug than marrying an understanding wife and this made him to marry me when he met me and showed me the results of the hormonal profile he did and I encouraged him and stood with him and married him.
He is not happy he hardly touch his wife. Sometimes I will be in the mood but will not show it to him. I vowed I will never cheat on him. Ma please is there any solution for this? Please help me out. God so kind just four years of our marriage we are blessed with three lovely kids. I will be 31 by December while he will be 35 by October.

Indeed there's no better drug than marrying an understanding wife. I love your convictions and your decision to stand by your husband and support him in this phase of his journey.
Sex is no joke, lol, especially for men because they work hard enough to get the job done and sometimes some factors may affect their performance thereby making them experience premature ejaculation which is what your husband is experiencing.
There are some factors that maybe responsible for this and they're in two broad categories.
1. Psychological factors
2. Health factors.
Seventy to eighty-five percent of premature ejaculation is as a result of varying forms of psychological factors. This has to do with his level of excitement, anxiety, pressure to perform, depression, family or financial issues or fear of being unable to satisfy you amongst the rest.
How men feel before sex, what occupies his mind before sex and the mood of the house affects his sexual performance, and in a situation where he's entirely over excited, well things may become pretty messy and he won't be motivated to try again.
So let's settle the basics, it's absolutely normal to have premature ejaculation once in a while and he doesn't need to be discouraged or made to feel like a failure but he can always be pampered and appreciated by the wife, thereby reducing the refractive time for him to rise up and try again.
So always begin by setting the mood right, appreciate him, pamper him, celebrate him and let him know that although it's two minutes or less that you are always proud of him and will continue to work it out until things gets better and better.
With the right mood, work on changing positions so that he doesn't ejaculate faster than he does before now. Positions like reverse cow girl (in this position, you are the one on top, while he's the one lying down on his back). In this position, you determine the thrusting angle, the thrusting depth and also the speed of penetration. The beauty of this position is that he will last longer and he won't ejaculate faster giving you more time to enjoy sex with him. Also the sitting position where he sits down and you sit on his laps will also be helpful for you too. In the sitting position, he will sit on the bed or chair while you sit on him facing him and holding his shoulder while thrusting slowly and as gently as possible.
You can also research on other sex positions that allows you to take a better control and at the same time delay ejaculation so that both of you can experiment with that and find out if things will improve.
In addition to changing the positions to give you a better grip of his penis, there is a technique called the squeeze technique that can help him regulate his rate of ejaculation(it can be stressful but you can give it a shot).
During sexual intercourse, you may notice when he's about to release his sperm, you can squeeze the head of the penis, called the glans, so hard that he will go down and after a while will continue or you can squeeze the veins at the back of his scrotum so that he will come down and then start again. The philosophy behind the squeeze technique is that you are shutting the blood flow to the penis thereby reducing his ejaculation time and also gaining more thrusting time.
This way, he will learn to master how to control his ejaculation. Though not all ladies can try the squeeze technique but it works if you can do it well.
There's an exercise for the penis which I feel that he can do whenever he's urinating. It's the kegel exercise. Whenever he's urinating, he can try and stop the urine half way and then draw the urine back for thirty seconds or more before urinating again. Doing it consistently will definitely help him have a better control during sex.
Let him also learn to relax and be calm during sex, taking it slow and steady, taking a deep breath as he thrusts or rubbing his tongue on the roof of his mouth as he thrusts so that he doesn't allow over excitement to make him ejaculate before you open your vagina and also distract the pressure and the tension in his penis.
The second category of factors that can affect sexual performance has to to with health factors. If he's diabetic or hypertensive or obese or fat, there's every tendency that sex maybe disastrous for both of you. If he doesn't get enough exercise, it can also affect his sexual performance.
So to start with, it's advisable that you work on what he eats and encourage him to do the same so that you can achieve the desired result.
Cut down on groceries and fats, cut down on so much carbohydrates and fries, cut down on alcoholic drinks and junks and replace them with vegetables, fruits and minerals that his body needs to function adequately. If he can exercise once in a while, it will be great for his heart and his blood vessels which work so hard during sexual intercourse.
Spices like fresh onions, garlic, and ginger are very helpful especially in the detoxification of all the unwanted toxins in the blood so that he can enjoy sex and also desire sex too.
Hopefully if he can maintain a healthy lifestyle and make the necessary adjustments where necessary, things will definitely improve.
I have to warn, it is not healthy and advisable to take any drugs recommended by anyone without the prior examination and prescription from an urologist or a medical doctor. The reason is because most of the sex enhancement drugs have a counteractive effects on other drugs and must be prescribed with care to avoid making it an addiction and in the process harm the heart or the vital organ of the body.
While I know that there are some drugs that will definitely help your husband last longer, it is advisable for him to visit an urologist so that they can prescribe based on his body specifications.
But that should come after you have exhausted other options and avenues to help him enjoy sex. You can also read Man and His Penis to learn more about the penis and how men perceive their penis. 
Please if he's willing, and he's comfortable with talking to me about this, I will gladly suggest that you encourage him to write to me so that I can share some tips that will be helpful for both of you. 
I mean every woman deserves great sex from her own husband and both of you are too young to live a boring bedroom life. You can always talk to me if you need any suggestions or further assistance on this.

1 comment:

  1. He can give you great orgasms without penetration to compensate for that. Giving u a head or touchig you in the right places of ur vagina can drive u to ecstasy and u might not bother abt sex


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