Thursday, July 7, 2016

My Heart is Bitter Towards my Husband.

Good evening ma and all AVL fans. I wrote to you a few months back about my troubled marriage(Read Here). Thank you all for the advice and words of encouragement.
The problem I have now is that my heart is really bitter towards my husband, sometimes I feel just hatred. I pray to God every minute to help me conquer the feelings in my heart.
He just doesn't care about how I feel and it hurts me, even when I try to call his attention to my feelings or what I feel he has done wrong he simply says nothing.
Recently, I complained about him always bringing in his friends into things we should do as a family, just a day before yesterday he was meant to take I and my little baby for immunizations, along the way he stopped and a friend of his entered the car. When we got to the hospital, he just said I should get down and call him when we've finished which was not the plan. This has been happening but I decided to let him know I was angry.
Please ma, I love my husband a lot and truly want to rekindle those dead feelings. What do I do?
Please ma, I know that marriage and dating are way two different things but how can I make my marriage as exciting as dating. Thanks a lot ma.


When things don't work as planned, there is every possibility for one to feel sad and disappointed. I feel that the realities of his job loss in your previous mail is responsible for the bitterness you feel towards your husband.
This is one of the realities that dating will never expose you to or remind you of. Dating is mainly a moment to celebrate friendship, appreciate one another and look forward to the beauty of wedding and the excitements of living together.
Marriage is a lot deeper, you will now face his personality attributes, learn how he manages his emotions and how he deals with the uncertainties of life and marriage.
He hasn't walked through this path before and as such may not understand the impact of his attitude to you. This is why you should be patient with him and open your heart to accommodate, persevere and accept him even with his weaknesses.
This is the time to forgive, forbear and forget some of his weaknesses that discourages you from loving him. When you feel bitter, it's simply because you feel pained and have decided not to forgive him.
Your husband on his part maybe scared to confide in you and as a result will choose to confide in his friends and spend more time with them but you can make this burden bearable for him by forgiving him, accepting him, and reaching out to him.
Please do not complain about all his weaknesses or always talk about the things he's not doing well. Get interested in him, find out how he's feeling, dig into his soul and pamper him in your own little way.
I have no idea how his financial pocket is currently but please don't be too hard on him, instead give him some breathing space and trust that he's making the best decision concerning the challenge.
Pray with him and pray for him and be hopeful that he will someday realise that he has a companion in you and learn to work with you.

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