Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Should I Disgrace Her on Social Media?

Good morning ma. Few months ago I noticed that my husband has started keeping extra marital relationship with a lady from Imo state. The kind of chats and calls they made surprises me.
He calls the woman at least five to six times daily. To extent that the woman will be expressing herself emotional to my husband, saying that the feeling she had for him has been increased, they were also planning on how to be together when they have a meeting cos they both are in entertainment industry.
I confronted my hubby after this scenario, he said that the woman is just a business partner, he has nothing in common with her, he also said that the woman is married just that the husband isn't in the country. I told him that whether her husband isn't in the country or she's in same entertainment industry with you shouldn't be your reason of calling her every now and then. She will be asking you if you will kiss and play with her when you meet with each other, sending her airtime and money. I told him everything that I found out going between them. I even told our pastor about everything.
He summoned us and counselled us. My hubby later apologised to me, and I sent the woman an SMS to stay away from him that he's a married man. She copied the text and forwarded it to my husband. Right now I want to write against her on a social media cos I found out that they are still together even after texting her.
She's distracting my hubby from giving all the attention that I need as a pregnant woman. All these got me thinking and am beginning to fear my husband. Should disgrace the woman on a social media? She's seriously trying to bring confusion in my new home.

Woman please get hold of your emotions and don't reduce yourself to a lady of no virtues. You have done the right thing by confronting your husband, expressing your pains and disappointment with his cheating habit. You also did well by engaging your pastor to intervene in your marital challenge which is already yielding positive results in your marriage. 
You also sent a message to the said lady and I think that you have done enough to pass your message across to her. Going on social media to expose her will also be a platform to expose yourself, your husband, your challenges and your maturity to children and adults alike. 
Exposing her will only give your husband the platform to follow her and perhaps dump you for being irrational in your actions. You don't fight like a baby and expect good results. Infidelity is a spiritual battle and it's beyond following up your husband and monitoring his life or phones. Please give him some space and follow things up with prayers and positive disposition. 
I feel that the way you are pushing for this, you may end up losing your own marriage because your actions will only give you up as being desperate and insecure in yourself. 
You have every legitimate right and authority to demand for the accountability of your husband in your marriage but above that, please seek the more respectable and noble ways of resolving your differences like prayers, counselling and consultations and avoid the social media frenzy of criticisms.
I know that it's a difficult experience for you but please do not in your bid to win the attention and affection of your husband end up making a public mess of yourself and your dignity as a wife and expectant mother.


  1. Of a truth infidelity both in marriage or courtship is a spiritual thing and can never be stopped by phone monitoring but by Prayers just as AVL rightly put.
    Over times, I have come across fellows who said that they will stop cheating on their partners after getting married yet even after that the cheating still continues. Dear Poster, I feel your pain. The painful truth is that your man is really lost but you still have chances of taking him back . One thing with men is that we are attracted to ladies we spend most of our time with especially if the person is a fun flowing type.
    The length of communication going on between your man and his colleague clearly shows that this said lady is offering more attraction than you do. And your job here is to decipher and outweigh the level of attention your man is giving to this lady. Yes, I agree he's your hubby therefore you are not in competition with any lady. Yet, still don't forget that sustainable marriage needs a continual renewal.
    Now, back to the recovery steps. After giving your man's behavior in prayer, call him out on a cool atmosphere probably after dishing out one of his favourite meals. Sincerely pour out your mind to him, and ask him on areas that turns him off from you. After that tell him you have forgiven his past errors(be sure you do), and give him a hot goodnight kiss. Am convinced the good Lord will miraculously restore your marriage again.

  2. You are conveniently heaping the blame on this woman and exempting your husband from every blame. Is your husband a baby, how many people will disgrace. If your husband has any atom of respect for he be having an affair but rather than face your husband you are busy blaming the other woman. After fighting her then you will give your husband a trophy. Till another woman comes along


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