Friday, July 29, 2016

Should I Go to New York and Meet with Him?

Good morning ma, please I need help. I'm a 26 years old graduate, somehow unfortunately I lost my job plus plenty issues which led me to a particular church for prayers. While on my prayers, I met this guy on Facebook. (I wasn't praying about marriage but for a job cos I'm the first child of five, and only daughter plus my parents are late). The dude stays in New York, well he isn't the first Facebook or abroad guy that tried to date me but somehow I wasn't really interested plus I haven't seen this kind of interest shown by this particular dude with anyone.
At first I wasn't down with him, I rarely picked his calls or chat him up which he badly complained about, cos in the past I rarely believed in Facebook love and get disgusted at abroad marriages, but somehow I can't believe I have started liking this guy. I haven't even met him ooo, all we do is chat and talk on phone. He is so nice, caring and good hearted. He assists me financially, buys me gifts e.g iphone6, perfume, camera, laptop, designer shades etc. and guess what? I haven't ever opened my mouth to ask this guy for anything not even N5 or a pin.
In his picture he is just a simple guy with no tatoo, ear rings, weird haircut or dressing. He told me he quitted smoking and drinking three years ago when he gave his life to Christ. He confided in me that he is a bit hot tempered, but has never abused a woman physically and never will. He confessed he is emotional, shy, quiet, earns a living legitimately and keeps just one woman. He told me I could walk away from his life without looking back if I come to New York and find out he told me one lie. He says he wants to marry me.
The confusing part is in my own case, this guy doesn't want to come to Nigeria and marry me first but he wants to start processing my visa to join him in New York by next month (all expense paid by him) and then we can plan the marriage together when I'm with him.
He is from my village and told me I could do an investigation about him if I want. He told me he has nothing to hide and isn't rich but lives a normal life and just wants a good girl from our village for marriage cos he is the last born and an only son with eight sisters and is already 33 years old.
I'm so embarrassed and confused cos in the past I will lash out at any lady who is into Facebook or abroad thing. Please I need your advice and that of concerned people. What do you think of the whole situation? I'm scared of making a mistake. Thanks and God bless.



I believe that God can use any means to connect you to your partner. If we're comfortable with shopping online and getting our products, I have no idea why we feel that there are no genuine individuals online who truly have good intentions and are honest and sincere with their personality.
This notwithstanding, you must thread with great caution and wisdom to avoid being deceived or venturing into a journey that may harm your life or destroy your future. Simply put, you need some measures that will at least put you at some level of advantage and guard against anything that may not be as you planned or anticipated in the beginning. 
Let's assume that this man is genuine and very very honest, why can't he come down and officially talk to your family before you can join him over to New York? Or don't you know that you are accountable to your family and if anyone is interested in getting married to you, such an individual must take the responsibility for your life, just so that we can place an identity to his good heart and intentions. 
Before I forget, New York city is a very great city, beautiful and lovely for anyone who wishes to have a pleasant time in the city of New York(enough of the advert). Anyone can buy you gifts and make you feel loved but that in itself is not enough to make a trip to New York just because he claimed that he wish to get married to you. 
Of course I'm not here to discourage you or condemn his personality, but all your mail talked about was all this man has given to you and all he told you, my simple questions are, who is he? What exactly does he do in New York? What is his personal relationship with God like? Why can't he come to Nigeria to identify with your parents? 
The questions that you should be asking yourself in your heart are, if this guy is so good and kind, why doesn't he want to return to Nigeria and at least see your parents? If he can pay for your visa application and trip, why can't he come around so that both of you can plan for marriage here? What is he possibly hiding from you? And what will you do if you get to New York and discover that he's not what you expected from him? How will you return back home if you get there and feel that you cannot continue with him or get married to him? 
I know that you feel that he's the best man for you, well I'm not discouraging you and I'm not also saying otherwise.
A man can identify an exit route faster in a familiar environment than he will in a strange land. What this means is that, you will be at a better advantage if you encourage him to come back and see you, then both of you can work together and decide what's best for both of you, than it will be if you travel to New York and perhaps discover that he's not what you anticipated. 
Life is a risk and loving is risky too so I won't tell you whether you should go or not, my duty is to highlight some areas that you should consider before deciding whether it's in your interest to go over and meet him or not.
If you are convinced and comfortable with going to meet with him, please carry out the necessary investigations about his family. Find out more about him using a guy as a proxy so that he can get the right information about his personality and then help you connect with the real identity of the person you wish to meet before embarking on the journey. 
It is also important to inform your family and for his family to be in the picture before you set out, just for accountability purposes and to avoid stories that are unpleasant to the ears.

2 comments:

  1. Recommended DOWNLOADS to clear your confusion:

    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    *2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    *3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    *4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    *11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang

    DOWNLOAD@ http://aminspired247.blogspot.in/2015/03/quick-downloads-101-over-500-free.html ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

    FOR MORE,PLEASE WHATSAPP +234-7062456233 #qdDOWNLOADS

    ReplyDelete
  2. Recommended DOWNLOADS to clear your confusion:

    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    *2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    *3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    *4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    *11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang

    DOWNLOAD@ http://aminspired247.blogspot.in/2015/03/quick-downloads-101-over-500-free.html ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

    FOR MORE,PLEASE WHATSAPP 234-7062456233 #qdDOWNLOADS

    ReplyDelete

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