Wednesday, August 17, 2016

He's Torturing Me but my Pastor Said He's the Right Man for Me.

Good day ma, may God continue to increase your knowledge. My fiancé and l have been together for three years plus, l met him when he had nothing and we were happy with ourselves, but God blessed him, he got a job, immediately his attitude changed.
He built his house and moved in and things became worse for me, no truth, he keeps late night, he spends long hours with his friends and dates than me, he keeps malice and not ready to apologise when he offends me or consider my emotions concerning his late nights.
Ma, he had been a chronic cheat yet we're still together, a womaniser but you wouldn't know because he's very jovial. He doesn't pick up his phone when l needed to talk with him, we have discussed this severally and I've told him how bad and hurt l feel each time he refuses to pick up my calls but he keeps repeating it. He's so proud and domineering.
l love him and l think he loves me too, he does everything for me. He is planning to come and pay my bride prize by December. Ma, this guy is torturing me and my pastor said he is the right man for me. Ma, please how do l handle this? He's always getting me worried and scared. Please I need your advice, thanks. I look forward to your wise counsel.

Sometimes I wonder what some of you tell some pastors that make them pronounce a disaster as God's will. Other times I also wonder what exactly is this God's will that some pastors and prophets proclaim that is not in God's word. 
Let me tell you the attributes of God that relates to relationships and marriage that everyone must identify to say that such a relationship is honourable to God. 
One of the attributes of God is that he's faithful, he doesn't say a thing and do another. He doesn't promise and fail, he doesn't change in his personality because he's the only true God. 
He's true and his words are true. If he says that he loves you, he definitely loves you. Because he's the only truth revealed to humanity, everything about him is true he doesn't meddle with lies. 
He's committed to one project, one relationship, one vision, and he doesn't allow anything else to change his thoughts and plans for humanity. 
His love is not selfish, it's not fake, it's not temporary but it's eternal, amazing and refreshing. He's love personified and he's love that fulfills the yearnings and emptiness of humanity. 

If anyone claims that an unfaithful partner, an abusive partner, a liar, a cheat, an arrogant, and an insensitive partner is God's will, please do not believe such a lie because it's actually not true. 
The Bible says that by their fruits you shall know, not by pastoral declaration, not by any prophetic utterances, not by the perception of anyone but by their own fruits. 
If ever since you knew this man, you haven't known peace, happiness, joy and fulfilment, you can't call this God's will because it doesn't have any attributes of God in it(peace, joy, love). 
Please pardon my digression (I don't like sounding like a preacher) 

I know that your heart is already yearning to answer Mrs..., it's a good thing really but my fears are written all over your mail. I sense that you may not really be happy and fulfilled with him if you go ahead and get married to him. 
The reason is because his weaknesses and shortcomings maybe unbearable for you especially when you finally settle down with him. 
It's only after wedding that you will realise that the weaknesses of your partner is not a tea party, and the pains will be magnified and you will also find it difficult to forgive. 
I wish I could convince you, I wish I could tell you to pray and fast but I won't. One thing I will do is to remind you that the clothes that looks good on a man is actually covering his nakedness. 
If you are already experiencing pains and worries now that you're courting him, marriage is a long journey from now and things may not be as beautiful as they used to be. 
If you know within your heart that you cannot cope with his personality, please use the door because your love cannot change his personality. 
It is far more honourable to be single trusting God for your own husband than to be married to a man and be living in pains, misery and worries.

1 comment:

  1. My dear, your pastor is not God, he is not in the relationship with you, will not be in your marriage and will not marry you. He didn't give you life, he can't take it away, the only power he has over you is that which you have given him. Don't make a god out of your pastor, he doesn't have the final say. God loves you, has power over but will never force or coerce you to do anything! Decide for yourself, take your own stand and decide to be happy by not marrying an abusive man.


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