Sunday, August 14, 2016

How Can I Work this Out?

Good evening MRS AVL... please ma I need your counsel on what bothers me .......Given that each person has a certain behaviour that tells their character, is it possible such persons can change? I say this because my hubby has complained so bitterly for the past two years we have been married about the same things, that I now see him as a nag.
I believe I'm melancholic, because I have mood swings, I don't forgive easily, pessimistic etc. Most times my hubby complains, I feel I need to change but that change happens for just that day, though I feel that it's the manner with which he talks to me, yelling, insulting etc. Despite my sincere efforts though little but not appreciated, these days I don't seem to care if he nags at me. I just let him. 
Could it be that it's a kind of spell? I love my husband alright and seek to please him, but he doesn't set the right environment for me to express myself or communicate with him, he shuts me up or calls me a child with all manner of remarks, and this doesn't help either because I'm very much reserved. How can I work this out, or am I under some kind of voodoo?

You need to settle down and understudy your husband, no man or lady nags consistently about an issue if there's a change and a willingness for improvement. 
Every individual have a temperament and the spirit of God in an individual also determines to a large extent how an individual will react, respond and perceive a suggestion or an opinion. 
You know your weaknesses irrespective of the communication atmosphere, his manner and choice of words. Knowing the kind of husband that you are married to, and the things that have the potential to trigger misunderstandings or nagging, you don't need his approval or his petting for you to work on your weaknesses, because failing to do so is to invite unnecessary stress and nagging in your home. 
Every man have things that soothe their heart and the things that also offend them, also your manner of communication and response matters so much when it comes to communicating with some individuals.
You are not under any voodoo or a spell, you only need not to be like him by always feeling that you don't need to work on your weaknesses but look unto God and strive to please him in your marriage. 
If God forgave you easily, if God is gracious to give you an eternal hope and also bless you in advance, then your temperament is not a good excuse not to work on your weaknesses so that both of you can enjoy your marriage.

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