Tuesday, August 23, 2016

I Have No Peace in my Marriage.

I got married in March 2015 but I have had no peace from the beginning of the marriage, mainly because my mother-in-law's interference in all our marital issue because she insisted hubby mustn't rent an apartment unless we want witches and evil spirits to be living with us, so we were forced to be living with my hubby's parents and siblings.

God was good to us and I took in immediately after the wedding. Hubby initially had plans for us to go to the USA for honeymoon but his mum convinced him that it's too expensive, knowing fully well that he can afford it so hubby told me he already has it in his plans that all our kids will be born in the USA.
At exactly 28 weeks in my pregnancy journey, we left for USA not knowing his mum didn't support it till we got to the USA and he opened up to me. All I noticed was that she was cold to me the very day hubby booked our tickets till the we left which were just few days apart.
Hubby spent two weeks with me before coming back to Nigeria and those were the time in our marriage. But from the very day he got to Nigeria, we fought till I delivered and came back to Nigeria.
Ever since I came back, my mother-in-law went from bad to the worst in her attitude towards me, both verbally and in actions. Hubby left for work in Port Harcourt two weeks after I came back from the USA and I was in constant emotional pains both from him, his mum and siblings.
He came in May and two weeks after he came back, I picked up my baby and left without taking anything not even a pant. But within those two weeks, things were good between us to the extent that I sometimes hear his mum telling him that I have cast a love spell on him. And from the very day that I left which was in June till this very moment, hubby never called to ask of me or his daughter.
Now I wish to move on but I have no job.

The God who ordained marriage, instructed that a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife and that they shall become one flesh. 
Sometimes the devil looks for a subtle way to destroy this eternal covenant by introducing a third party, and that is exactly what you are experiencing in your marriage. 
There is no witches or wizards or demons that will crush a man and his wife who are under a covenant with God for life. So I have no idea why both of you accepted to live with his parents when he had the means to rent an apartment and give you the privacy and the respect that you deserve. 
If your mother-in-law and father-in-law weren't consumed by witches and wizard, why does your husband believe that both of you cannot stand on your own and build your marriage? 
Sometimes out of overzealous attitude of some in-laws, they end up destroying the very marriage that God himself have ordained, and start looking for who to blame for their actions and interference. 
I don't think that it's the best time to move on but I feel that this the best time for you and your husband to make some structural adjustments so that both of you can function as husband and wife and give your daughter the very best in life. 
I will suggest that you consider having a date with your husband so that you can have a heart to heart discussion with him, and let him know the right thing for him to do to strengthen your marriage. 
If he fails to listen to your suggestions, please involve your family and his family and let them know your challenges and struggles in your marriage. That will compel your husband to heed to your suggestion. 
On your own part, I will encourage you to put aside every malice or anger or unforgiving spirit that you may have against your in-laws, and humble yourself and work with your husband to build up a home that both of you will be proud of. 
I don't know if your husband will be comfortable with counselling or writing to me, but I believe that both of you need counselling to help you run your family and limit the unnecessary interference of friends and families in your home.
This is also a time for you to seek the face of God in your marriage and ask him for the wisdom, understanding and the grace to manage your marriage and your in-laws to avoid having constant issues or challenges with them. There is nothing beyond his capacity and there is no challenge that he cannot deal with. 
The real challenge in your marriage is that your husband is still dependent on his parents and their opinions is what is ruining your marriage. 
And until he leaves his parents and take up the leadership of his marriage and life, your marriage maybe characterised by struggles and unnecessary interference. 

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