Sunday, August 14, 2016

I'm Dying in Silence.

Good morning ma, am 25 years old. I got married in 2014 and divorced after giving birth due to my mother-in-law. She made my life and marriage miserable. After everything I went back to school to continue my education, now am in my IT, will be through by September this year. 

There's this male friend of mine, he's into business. He was so kind and caring towards me and my daughter. One evening he called me up asking me to follow him to a friend's bachelor's eve and I accepted to go with him. 
To my greatest surprise, that the same night I was raped by this guy I call my friend.... After that night he pleaded and pleaded for my forgiveness and I accepted. We moved on and I later found out am four weeks pregnant, I told him and he accepted the pregnancy and felt less concerned about it. Then I went to my priest with tears and told him everything and the priest called him to see him.. 
To my greatest surprise, the guy said to the priest AM NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE NOW, then the priest asked him how old are you? He said AM 40 YEARS OLD. Then the priest asked him to do something fast before it's too late, he accepted and went home. 
Ma since then this guy is not saying anything to me, and I haven't told my parents or siblings about my condition now, Ma, am really dying in silence, everyday and night I keep on crying, nobody knows wat am going through. Please ma what do I do now?
And I don't want my parents to know about this because they're suffering from HBP. I don't want to loose any of them.

The first thing to do is register for an antenatal care so that you can take adequate care of your health and the health of your baby. 
To men, having sex and getting married is two different ball game and they don't seem to combine the two. You may be surprised or shocked by his attitude but I am not because some men can be as caring as an angel until they get into your vagina and deposit sperm in you. 
Since you have forgiven him but he's not ready for marriage, please do not wait for him or try to push your pregnancy to him because it may be disastrous in the future especially if he wasn't emotionally connected to you or prepared to marry you. 
Talk to him about all you need and all that your baby needs so that he can extend his care to his baby. Let him know that if he doesn't wish to marry you, it's okay but that both of you need to take care of your baby's upkeep and needs. 
Then find a better atmosphere or time to inform your parents and his parents of your pregnancy. Hiding it won't prevent the world from knowing about your baby, so open up and let them know that you are expecting a baby. 
I know that you never prepared for pregnancy but you can decide to be a great mum to your baby, and give your heart to bring out the best in your child.

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