Thursday, August 4, 2016

I'm Thinking of Revenging by Cheating on Him.

My hubby slept outside after clubbing, and I was calling him without picking his calls. I now decided to drive to where he told me he was, so I saw his car parked out at the hotel premises. I now decided to hang around and wait, because since I married him, he has never slept out unless he travelled. So as I was waiting, lo and behold he drove out with a woman and stopped
the girl to enter a tricycle, I was so shocked and I followed the girl and asked the tricycle man to stop and I slapped the girl and asked her what she was doing with my husband, the girl was saying that she is sorry that the owner of the club introduced my hubby to her, that she didn't know him before, that I should please forgive her. I asked her how many times my hubby fucked her, she said once, I also asked her if he collected my hubby's number, the girl said no, that they did not exchange numbers.
I now rushed home and met my hubby drying his body after taking his bath, I was so mad and I fought him, I injured him and destroyed a lot of things, and he was calming me down and lying as well, telling me that he slept out because he was drunk and his friend saw he can't drive home, he decided to lodge him in his hotel, that he saw the girl at the hotel step and the girl asked him to drop her at hotel gate to get a cab, that her gown is short, so that's why I saw him dropping the girl.
So after everything, I was abusing him, cursing him, fighting him and hurting him too, so he started beating me and we started struggling. So after that I drove myself to the hospital and I was given a drip, so after taking the drip I went home, and my hubby came to meet me at the dinning room and was crying, and knelt down and was begging me to forgive him, that he is sorry for slapping me and sleeping out, that I should bring Bible let him swear that he didn't sleep with the girl. So I just told him to give me time, so the begging continued the next day.
He travelled to the village the next day for burial and spent two days and came back, he didn't call me when he was in the village, and he came back and didn't talk to me, so I went to him and told him that I have forgiven him, he just said okay and went out that night, and till now he doesn't eat at home or tell me his whereabouts.
So I asked his friend to ask him why he is giving me attitude, his friend told me that his friends were making mockery of him, that his wife is going around looking for him because he slept out, that he is weak, that can his wife tell him what to do, and why will I fight a girl he dropped, that what if the girl is a mad runs girl, so people will start saying that O's wife is fighting with a prostitute at the junction, so that was why he is ignoring me since then.
He comes home anytime he likes, his friend asked me to beg him, and I have done that like three times, yet he is still keeping malice, and he doesn't give me money since then. So last night, I was so mad, depressed and heartbroken to the extent of thinking of revenging by cheating on him too, at least with that I will be able to forgive and forget it.
Please I just need words of encouragement so that I will be able to forgive and move on. Till today he doesn't talk to me, my hubby is not like this, he is a principled man, even if he slept with the girl, his friend or alcohol made him to do it. Am so down

Oh dear Lord, I pray that you will show mercy to this beautiful home and give your daughter the grace and wisdom to manage her husband and home in Jesus name Amen. Please give her husband the grace and wisdom to return back home and reconcile with his wife so that they can enjoy the beauty of their marriage in Jesus name Amen. 
Madam, I know that you were consumed by anger and rage when you saw your husband with a prostitute, any lady in your shoes will definitely feel horrible and greatly pained considering all you've invested in your marriage and how much you trust your husband, but going after the prostitute, slapping her and causing public nuisance wasn't the best approach to what happened. 
Just like his friend said, if the lady was a crazy one, perhaps you could have exposed yourself to some avoidable injuries and fights. You don't fight a prostitute simply because she's a lady, your husband was the one who accepted her, and wanted to 'help' her (whatever that means), he was the one who sought for her service and inserted his penis in her vagina, not the other way round. So fighting a strange lady will only make your husband and his friends have a negative perception of your personality and see you as a domineering wife which no man is comfortable with.
Fighting with your husband to the point of you giving him injuries and destroying things was wrong. You can't resolve sensitive issues like this by attacking, and verbally abusing your husband. Yes I understand that you were very angry and unstable when you met him, but there's every need for you to learn how to manage your emotions so that you can achieve your purpose without crushing your marriage. 
Fighting and verbally abusing him was sincerely not the best approach. You could have taken a walk or stay with a friend until you were calm to talk with him. You could have used the opportunity to book for a counselling session with him and then address his personality weaknesses which includes anger and malice.
If you tow the path of revenge by cheating on him, then you may also consider packing your properties and also inform your children if any that you may be leaving the marriage anytime soon, because that's what will most likely be the result of such a decision.
At this point, I feel that both of you need to either schedule for a counselling session so that both of you can resolve your differences and the challenges in your marriage, or you can involve your families so that they can intervene in your marital crisis. 
Where he's unwilling to consider any option or talk to you, please don't attack or fight him or do something stupid with your life, instead take a walk and allow him to take his time and make amends where necessary so that both of you can work together and give your heart to strengthen your marriage. 
Both of you needs counselling and both of you needs to decide whether this marriage is workable or feasible to avoid unnecessary stress and frictions every now and then. 
On your own part, you may need to start working on your anger management and how best to manage issues without losing your sanity so that you don't allow your emotions push you into destruction.
I am not going to accept your explanations for your husband's decision to sleep with a prostitute, it's both lame and annoying too, so let's not go there because if you never saw him with the lady, you will definitely say that he's still a virgin. 
A man who has the tendency to keep malice for weeks, and keep all the wrong kind of friends, can do the worst irrespective of his principles, so let your focus be to work on your emotions and address the challenges rocking your marriage.


  1. Amen and in addition u still need to keep some of that crazy attitude of urs to be use chase the bad friend influence ur hubby,
    Ur hubby got the the advice of malice and stop eating food from same friends when u went to the village, if I were u after tins are now well btw me and him I will use altitude to chase those friends away.
    Talk to his most respected person in his family and let them scored both of u and settle it


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