Thursday, August 18, 2016

I'm Thinking of Running Away!

Hello ma, I need your advice, I just got married last month, I dated my husband from far distance relationship. He lied to me that he has rented apartment in Warri, which when I visited his mum, I told him to take me to the house, he give me excuses that he can't go, that some guys are fighting in Warri there.
Since I told him no sex for now until after wedding, because of my work in Lagos, I have to go back, since then is communication we are having, we did the traditional marriage in Abuja in June, and wedding in Lagos. 
It was after the wedding day in the hotel that he opened up to me that he lied to me concerning the house and his salary is small, he's anatomy in general hospital in their town. I asked him where he's taking me to now, he said I will stay with his mum, I asked again about the feeding, he said he will provide it. 
Since I came to the village, is the mum who is taking care of me, again he's owing people money, that he stopped going to work. Ma, after he opened up to me, I cried, regretted marrying him. Ma, I want separation now, he always say if he have his apartment, I will know the kind of person he is. Ma, I'm afraid now, I'm thinking of running away, and start life all over again. 

The questions you asked after wedding was the same question you would have asked before getting married to him. You would have also carried out an investigation into his source of income, his personality, his vision and his maturity before following him to the altar to exchange vows as husband and wife. 
At this point in your journey, there are two options you can consider. The first one is to either accept him and his shortcomings and then work with him so that both of you can create the kind of comfort, home, and family that you desire. 
Though it's not what you wished for but both of you can make your wish a reality by adding faith to your wish and humbling yourself to work towards making it a reality in your marriage. 
The second option is to dissolve the marriage if you feel that you cannot cope in such an environment. Getting married and living with your mother-in-law is not really how God ordained marriage, because you will find it difficult to express yourself in the manner that you desire. You will also not be confident in your marriage knowing that both of you are still dependent on his own mother and cannot boast of anything, perhaps except sex. 
No condition of life is permanent, at the same time I must remind you that both of you weren't mentally and financially ripe for marriage, but you have the right to use the door if you can't cope with the realities of your marriage.


  1. My question is ; Do you actually love the guy? If yes, please forgive him for his lies and humbly work with him to achieve your desired marriage life. Had it been your husband had accident, physical or mental challenge after or during the marriage, won't you cope with him? I advice you consider the intense of love you had with him which made you take the vow of 'better or worse' with him. And I pray God will definitely pave way for your home in a non-distant time.

  2. Pardon me Ma, i don't agree with you about her dissolving her marriage. Marriage is for better for worse. Once you are in, no going back except for the condition that God provides which is infidelity. My dear, take this case to God. Forgive him for his lies, at times is their ego that is making them not to tell the truth. forgive him, get a job and help him build your desired home. Thanks

    1. I hate this religious people that do not understand the real meaning of God's word. Please dear could you explain what infidelity means? If a man lies to you to lure you into marriage, before God and man you are free to annul the union because it is built on a faulty foundation which the scriptures also support. Anyman man that lied to marry a woman is to me worst than an infidel. So I think we should face reality. Aunt Amara is perfectly right in telling her to use the door if she wish. Just making Ben Bruce

    2. Love is not blind but some people chose to blind when in love.Where did you guys got all the money used for the wedding?,sit yourself down,think thoroughly & avail yourself any of two option provided by our Beloved AVL.Thanks.

  3. God knows what other things this guy is lying about. A foundation based on lies will never stand.

  4. Lies and lies only God knows how so much I dislike people with lieing tongue. Disolve the union.


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