Tuesday, August 23, 2016

My Mum Will be Hurt if I Leave my Marriage.

Good morning Aunty Amara, please advice me on what to do please. I love my husband a lot and he's been cheating on me despite all the love and gifts I showers on him he still cheats. I have listened to so many call records he has on his phone with so many ladies. My husband will promise me he will never cheat or betray me and tell me to do same which I always promise him as well. Most times if I lay my hands and
call some of this girls they will insult me and tell me things about me that he eventually has told them.
I always cry, I tell him most times all I need from him is to be faithful to even the gifts, I had to call one today who he been calling him and advice her to stop dating married men as young as she is. At first she insulted me, then I cursed her, she became afraid, and called to plead that I forgive her that my husband never told her he was married. I told her it's not possible, but she insisted that she once asked him and he told her that he only has a daughter and caught his wife cheating and divorced her, she begged me that she will never do it again and she will tell me anytime he calls her again. Right now am very angry and I have decided to free him, so he can explore the more because probably he doesn't like me but likes me because of his children.
I told his mum(Read»» Quitting Marriage) about this his cheating habit but instead she got angry that I am not allowed to touch his phone, and if I will be doing it, I should leave her son to marry somebody else. This is a woman that haven't visited me since I put to bed, she only came to the hospital once. I have told my people about it as well but am afraid if I leave the marriage my mum would be hurt and considering her health too. I don't know what to do, am depressed. I want to move on with my life because I can't stay with a cheat. Please advice me.



It is established that your husband is cheating on you and sleeping with other ladies. You have pleaded and promised which fulfills the part of dialogue and communication between you and your husband. This hasn't yielded the desired results. 
You considered informing his mother(his favourite of all), and she scolded you for telling her that her 'angel' is sleeping around. This indicates that she is indirectly in support of all that her son does, of course the reason is because her son is very rich and provides all that she needs. 
Now you are here telling me that you are afraid to leave because of your mother? 
There are some horrible risks associated with living with an unrepentant cheat. 
One of them is that there is a high prevalence of contracting sexually transmitted infections and diseases. There are some men who baptised their wives with HIV and AIDS as a result of infidelity. 
Secondly, you may end up slipping into depression and doing something that you never thought was possible. We have heard some cases of some individuals doing strange things to their husbands as a result of infidelity. 
Thirdly, you may never get the respect of your husband because of his infidelity, and he wouldn't appreciate your presence in his life, and no matter what you do to help him, it will be difficult because he's not supportive. 
Some individuals stayed back and fought with their whole being, some succeeded, some never lived to share their stories, and some left the marriage when all efforts failed. 
This is your life, your decision to marry him and stay with him was yours, the consequences of deciding to remain in an abusive and an unhealthy marriage is also yours. 
Your mother made her own choices and decisions for herself and this is your time to make yours. 
No mother wishes to see her daughter return home from her marriage, but no mother wishes to bury her own daughter as a result of a toxic marriage or an abusive marriage. 
If you know within yourself that you cannot cope with the pains and the psychological trauma of his infidelity, please take a break from your marriage and cool off your head so that you can decide whether it's healthy and wise to continue with the marriage or move on with your life.

2 comments:

  1. Hmm...Aunty Amara,I now understand why great men and women of God whose marriages are going well emphasis the need of the leading of the HolySpirit before getting married. Naturally speaking, these kind of stories would scare one to death. I still believe there are good marriages, its just for us to patiently wait(the right way) on Him. Marriage is not a competition, really.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmm...Aunty Amara,I now understand why great men and women of God whose marriages are going well emphasis the need of the leading of the HolySpirit before getting married. Naturally speaking, these kind of stories would scare one to death. I still believe there are good marriages, its just for us to patiently wait(the right way) on Him. Marriage is not a competition, really.

    ReplyDelete

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