Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Should He Divorce the Lady and Remarry?

A guy met a lady, engaged her and paid her dowry. Two days before the marriage he found out that his fiancee is HIV positive, and he had already impregnated her.

Because of shame, after the couselling he proceeded with the wedding and the wife put to bed. Six months after, the guy went for lab test and he and the baby are negative. Though he is on antiretroviral drugs.
The question is should the guy divorce the lady and remarry. Someone else as he is fustrated in the relationship and can't continue because since then no sex is involved in their relationship, and the wife is threatening to commit suicide if he attempts to divorce.

If she never told him of her HIV status before he paid her bride prize, the marriage was contracted under deception and lies and should be dissolved. 
Perhaps he pretended to love her to avoid damaging her reputation, and also avoid public embarrassment of her family, but he should have quit the relationship immediately he learnt about her status. 
The underlying issue here was not that she was HIV positive, but she never deemed it fit to inform her partner of her HIV status, that is wickedness and there is no way such a marriage will stand the test of time. 
Since he's no longer comfortable with the marriage, he should invite both families and let his intentions be known to them. 
He may need to involve a counsellor to support the lady during the separation phase of their union. They can work out how they will take care of their child, and since he can't cope with her, he has the option of dissolving the marriage, and getting married to a lady he can trust.
The bottom line is that under no circumstances or condition should any individual hide any vital information that may have effect on his or her partner's health and safety, because such information will definitely lead to the dissolution of the marriage. 
HIV is not the most deadliest infections on earth and there are couples who are HIV positive that are enjoying their marriage, but what is not acceptable is forcing an individual to accept what he or she is emotionally not prepared to live with for the rest of his or her life.


  1. Aunty Amara I disagree with you o. That law only hold if the partner knew of such impending health risk; of which this lady might have not known.
    And besides the man later found out and decided to go ahead after counselling. Meaning he understood the implications.
    I feel the best thing for him now is to go get more counselling on how to live with his HIV+ wife happily till death do them part which might not be anytime soon.

  2. I d Why will he go ahead with the marriage after knowing her status two days to the wedding? For me, he's fully aware of her status before the wedding. He should learn how to live with her. The court may not grant his prayers of divorce.

  3. he found out some how 2 days b4 d wedding and still went to counselling and went ahead to marry her
    he is an adult he knew the risk
    they shud find a way to work it out and be happy

  4. He should divorce her if he isn't comfortable, she is wicked, she can kill. How dare she have unprotected sex if she knew her status. What if he got infected. In fact, she planned to infect him so that he won't have any options but to stay with her. She is selfish , she loves no one but herself, she doesn't even love her child, if she did, she would have sought medical help, not getting pregnant the normal way.


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