Monday, August 15, 2016

What Should I Do to Help Ease Her Pains During Sexual Intercourse.

Good morning Amara, thank you for this great platform, I am sincerely grateful because I keep learning a lot from this platform. I pray God will grant you all your heart desire. Please I need a clarification on something on me and my fiancee.

Please ma does the vagina gets back to being very tight when there's no sexual activities for a long period of time, say three years?
I had sex with my fiancé once something in 2013, that was her first and it didn't exceed one penetration because of the pain. I had to leave her and I was concerned I may not be always around to satisfy her then because of distance(she was in school while I was doing my masters in UK).
Just yesterday we tried making love, fingering her was painful to her, I just practically knew that inserting my penis will be war. Please ma is there a possibility that the hymen got back and healed because right now I think she is even tighter than before.
Please help, I don't like seeing my bae go through pains. What can I do to help ease the pain. Thank you so much.


Two likely things that may make her experience pains during sexual intercourse is if she's not well lubricated before penetrative sex or if she has an infection which hasn't been treated adequately. The third one is the state of her mind towards sex and sexual intercourse, if she's always feeling apprehensive, worried or afraid that she will experience pains during sex, she will most likely experience pains even if you're kissing her. 
To help her, talk about sex with her, remind her of your love and how you feel pained and worried whenever you see her experiencing pains during sexual intercourse. Let her know that sex is sweet, that you love her, and love making love to her, how you hope to share your world and you heart with her, and help her discover the beauty of making love to you. 
Then spend quality time caressing her body, communicating to her soul, romancing, and patiently arousing her body and mind. Let her know what you love about her breast, her buttocks, her belly and her skin, let your lips give her more reasons to talk less and imagine more. 
While you do that, you can insert your clean and well trimmed finger inside her vagina to know if she's wet enough for penetrative sex. 
No lady will enjoy sex when her vagina is dry, no matter how beautiful or gorgeous she is. The reason is that when her vaginal wall is dry, the penis tears the wall and makes the lady to experience painful sensation instead of pleasure. 
So where she's not well lubricated, please get a water based lubricants that is glycerin free, apply it on your erect penis before gently and gradually penetrating inside her vagina. 
Remember, you need to be slow and increase your pace as she gets comfortable with your thrusting. If after applying all these tips she still complains of pains and great discomfort, perhaps both of you may need to visit a gynaecologist to rule out any infection in her vagina so that both of you can enjoy sex. 
Once a hymen is broken, it is broken and it doesn't grow back to how it was before. A tight vagina is a function of her floor muscles and not necessarily because of how long she have abstained from sex. If she's tight, it's great for your penis and healthy for your soul. So take your time and gradually get your partner to enjoy sex with you. If you feel comfortable encouraging her to write to me, I will suggest that you permit her to write to me so that I will have a word or two with her.
Thank God that you are back from UK, please consider paying her dowry so that both of you can plan towards going to UK together or at least so that both of you can enjoy sex without any side talks or gossips (I'm certain that you understand what I'm talking about), just a suggestion though.

5 comments:

  1. Aunty Amara are you indirectly encouraging premarital sex.
    Anyway in her case her vagina will be tight lubricated or not and might even bleed again since she has done it for just once and it is a long time already.

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  2. Hmmmm, Aunty Amara I thought you'll give a godly counsel that premarital sex is sin. Don't be sugarcoating stuff like this. Encouraging sexual sin which will lead to hell fire. Perhaps you're trying to please this young man. Just think, what will Jesus tell this young man if he asked Him this kind of question?

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  3. You should have told him to go.and marry her first so they can both enjoy sex. Mr pls go and pay her bride price so she can ease up.

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  4. @ Anonymous, it's unfortunate u misunderstood the reply given by AVL to the guy. If his question wasn't replied, would that make him marry the lady? Nobody is encouraging premarital sex here & I certainly know the guy knows what is good for him.

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  5. Does Aunty Amara look like a pastor, was his question pre marital sex a sin or not? She is here to give relationship, love n life counsel, you think people worldwide will reach out to her if starts discriminating which question is a sin or not, look at them, judges at the high table, Nigerian!!!

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