Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Am Afraid Of Losing Her To Another Man.

Good day sister Amara, I thank God for your life. Please I need your advice on this situation.
Am a guy of 30 years and my girl is 26, we have dated for almost two years and all my families like her. She is my strength, we love each other dearly.

In my family am the third son, and my family have refused my marriage plan until my eldest brother who is 35 years marries before I will marry.
I have waited for him all this year 2016, and he keeps on postponing it. I told my fiancé that I will drop my family and come with friends, but she said no that she needs my family also.
Now am afraid of losing her because men are seriously disturbing her. She loves me, but the so much delay is disturbing her. She truly loves me, in fact we are like twins, the same vision, the same dream.
Please advice us because she is one of your fans. I don't want to lose her.

I can feel this love really and I have no idea why your family is frustrating your life with their opinion.
I understand that in some communities especially in the eastern part of Nigeria, that families pay so much attention to the first daughter-in-law that enters the family and all that.
But the truth is that no two man has the same vision, purpose and plan for their lives.
Insisting that the first son who is not prepared for marriage marry first before others can marry their own wives is actually selfish, frustrating and insensitive to the needs of the man.
When a man is prepared to marry, everyone should encourage him to marry whether he's the first born or not. We need to understand that marriage is not a seniority acquisition but a necessity in the life of a man.
If a man works tirelessly without anyone to support him and such a man wish to marry, I have no idea why the family shouldn't support him.

First thing is to schedule a meeting with your family and let them know your decision and plans for your life. Let them know that you cannot continue to suffer and wait endlessly because they want to push your brother to marry before you, that you're not fighting to collect his possession as the first son but that you wish to help yourself and build your life.
If they insist on you waiting, please talk to an elder or someone that you know will influence them to support your intentions. The person maybe your pastor or someone in your community who they respect.
Once you involve these elders, they will have no option but to support you to marry your partner.
For your partner, this is the time for her to support you and pray for your family to support you in your vision. She shouldn't lose hope because with the way you're going, she will definitely enjoy so much love from you.
Let her appreciate your efforts and support you in her own little way.
Even if you're able to go with your uncle and relatives, it's a lot better than going with friends alone. I will also encourage you to pray that God will grant you favour and help you to convince your family to support your vision to marry so that you can enjoy the wife of your youth.

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