Friday, September 30, 2016

His Principles is Too Hard For Me.

Good evening aunty, please I really need your advise on this issue. Am into long distance relationship that is two years now. My fiancĂ© is a pastor but his principles is too hard and too much. Although both parents have known each other but I told my parent not to collect bride price at my back. 

I really love him but his principles is making me so scared of him. He told me not to wear trousers, fixed weave-on, wear ear ring again, which I accepted because I always do it once in a while before. 
Another situation on ground now is that he wants me to leave all social networks including Facebook which can't be possible and we have been on this since six months now. I gave him my password and he deleted all male friends on my Facebook leaving female only, I now changed my password. Last week he said I should follow his rules if I truly love him. Aunty believe me, I have never cheated on him for once which he knows. Please advise me ma, I can't do without Facebook, that is what am using to wipe off my day stress at night.

You are dealing with a man who have so much inferiority complex, insecurities and doesn't trust you as a person. His vision is to cage you and make sure that you don't breath except you're beside him. 
It may look harmless now because he's yet to tie you in his web but after wedding, you will realise that he's got so many rules and regulations which you must abide with, else you will be a rebellious wife to him. 
Love is a lot more fulfilling and rewarding when your partner accepts your personality and gives you the room to readjust to the kind of woman he desires in you, but when it has to be enforced and implemented by a boss who perhaps sees you as a 'weaker vessel' that must be 'chastised', then you may need to reconsider whether your love can endure these structural transformation from him. 
You need to weigh his principles with your peace of mind and decide if you can cope with his principles and still be at peace with your decision. In a situation where that is not possible, please sit down with him and let him know what you can cope with. 
There's no need to be afraid or discouraged to say what you can cope with and manage. If he can't respect and appreciate your personality the way you are, then he should let you be.
Don't make your decision based on those who are aware of the relationship, or based on any external influence but tell yourself the truth go for what you can cope with for the rest of your life.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm he is an emotional blackmailer. It means he doesn't trust you when he isn't with you. He may stop you from wearing trousers and jewelries but be sure he doesn't admire those wearing those. You better leave him now before you are caged for life.


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