please help me by posting this. I seriously need advise from the group. I am the first child and a daughter of my family and my dad never cared for me including my siblings and mum, but care for the two sons he have outside marriage with their mum and still stay under the same roof with us which my mum pays the rent alone, feed the family alone and everything included alone.
From the day one of his marriage to my mum, he have
never, and I repeat, never cared for her. A story was told that
when my mum was pregnant with my younger sister, my dad
planned on killing her and running away with me, but someone heard of it and told my mum, so she ran away for the mean time until she put to bed and then let my dad know of it. He came to the hospital. Seeing that the baby was a girl, he
abandoned them there in the hospital and ran away.
After many years he came back and impregnated her again
which she now gave birth to a son but nothing changed. The
man is still like that. Calculation of how long he abandoned us
his family was fifteen good years. He have never for once bought common pant or biro for us his children. Even when my mum was sick, he never cared, common fruit, he
never bought. No appreciation from him.
His first son, my brother had a police case because of phone,
even though he knew nothing about it but since he was found
in the environment when police came, he was arrested. My
mum gave him food to give my brother in cell, could you believe that this man ate the food, packed his bag and ran to Orlu, in Imo state.
Now his other son from the second woman had a similar
case, on hearing of it, he ran to rescue him in Enugu.
My brother now travelled to Ghana to start a new life since there is no help from anyone including his own father. My dad asked my mum to borrow so that my brother can travel, that he will be the one to pay for the house rent but he never did. As it is now, my brother does not have any place to sleep. I called him yesterday and he told me he is sleeping in a car. And that he is hungry.
My dad is an Okada rider. The biggest amount my dad give
out for food preparation is N200, nothing more, nothing less.
Am married but my hubby is not buoyant enough to help my
mum, even though he really want to. My mum with tears is
pleading with me to rescue her from my wicked dad. All the
money he ever asked my mum to borrow, he never paid. My
mum sells akara(bean cake). Those she borrowed from now are on her neck.
Please advice me on what to do to help her and how to
tackle my dad.
Is there any law in Nigeria that will favour my mum? Advice me as soon as possible please. Thank you all.
Oh well, it is well with you and your mother.
Your mother ought to have known the kind of husband that she married and learn to manage her resources, and minimise borrowing especially when she doesn't have the capacity to pay back.
All I will suggest is that you encourage your mother to consider seeking assistance from her relatives, friends or the church to enable her offset her expenses.
Your father has already chosen the path that he feels is the best for him, so your mother ought to learn to live according to her means and avoid allowing anyone else to push her into acquiring debts and financial burden.
On your part, you don't need to tackle your dad, you are limited by the little information you have about their marriage and journey, but your parents understands their journey much more than you do.
Please do not allow the personality of your father to push you into becoming bitter to him, truth is that he's not finding it funny to manage the huge responsibilities that he created for himself.
Choose from the depth of your heart to forgive him and set him free from your heart. I know that you are discouraged and annoyed with all your mother is experiencing in her marriage, but I believe that she will overcome this phase of her marriage and have many reasons to rejoice in future.
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