Monday, September 19, 2016

I Feel Embarrassed Whenever He Talks About Sexual Satisfaction.

Good morning ma'am. God bless you for the wonderful work you are doing. Ma please I want you to advice me.
Am in my final year in school. Am 22 years old and hubby is 32 years old. A very nice man, he is the best thing that has happened to me
, really the kind of man I prayed for, he really understands me, but my problem is that I find it very difficult to discuss sexual matters with him.
I feel very embarrassed whenever he asks me if I am satisfied based on sex, that I even asked him to stop asking me such questions. Now am pregnant, I find it very difficult to get wet. After having sex with him, it's very painful,and I don't even know how to tell him. Please I need your advice. Thanks and God bless you ma.

Because you're a Christian and a lady who desire to please God in all her endeavours, I will quote this scriptures for you to help you understand the institution of marriage and the beauty of sex. 
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.Genesis 2:24‭-‬25 ESV
The beauty of one flesh is made manifest in marriage, and the mystery of one flesh is made perfect in sex. 
The Bible said that the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. 
I understand that you feel embarrassed because you perceive sex as a worldly thing. How can you love God and still talk about sex, that dirty, filthy thing. I mean how can I suck his penis or talk about orgasm or see his sperm or even touch his penis? How will I be satisfied with sex when I am meant to be satisfied with Jesus?
In marriage, everything that you do with your husband is Holy and sanctified, and there is no need for you to be ashamed of anything else. God designed him to be your husband and God gave both of you that sexual urge that makes him desire to give you quality sex. 
You need to drop all the sermon about premarital sex or the filthiness of sex or the dangers of sex, and this time see your husband as one flesh with you. What that means is that his penis is yours and your vagina is his. 
It is compulsory for you to let your husband know what happens in your vagina or in your body because you owe him the accountability of your body. 
If you crave for sex, you also need to open up and make a move to satisfy your sexual desire because his penis belongs to you and you alone. 
Because he's legitimately, emotionally and spiritually one body with you, you have no reason not to open up and allow your mind to explore the beauty and the excitement that comes with sex.
It is righteous, Holy, and godly to be sexually satisfied because it will help you and your husband to resist sexual temptations from the devil. 
Remember that one of the easiest way the devil destroys marriages is through sex, and God have invested in your body all that your husband needs to remain faithful to you, please don't push him away with your timidity because the devil may exploit your marriage. 
Great communication skills before, during and after sexual intercourse is the only thing that separates mutual sexual satisfaction from rape. In a situation where you always keep quiet and you don't even tell him whether you are sexually satisfied or you felt pains or discomfort, he may feel discouraged, lonely and weak because he can't access his performance as a result of your timidity. 
So make it a point of duty to always open up to him, talk about sex, talk dirty when you're having sex with him, if he's striking the right cords, demand for more and when he's done, appreciate him by letting him know how you feel and how you enjoyed him. 
The penis doesn't talk but the penis always listen to your expression and is always delighted when you're satisfied. So boost his prowess by expressing yourself to him. It's the right thing to do and he's your husband, your very own husband. 
I don't know how much time he spends during foreplay and like you observed, sex without foreplay is actually a horrible experience due to the pains and discomfort that comes with it. 
Please talk to him about it and encourage him to spend quality time with foreplay so that your body will prepare for sex before thrusting into your vagina. Let him learn to connect with you and allow you to relax before penetrating so that you won't experience so much pains. I will also suggest that you buy a water based lubricants that he can apply on his penis and your vagina to minimise the friction on the walls and also reduce the pains and bruises in your vagina.
Please if you genuinely love your husband and he's your best friend as you described him, please do not withhold anything from him or feel uncomfortable with him during sex, it's actually a show stopper for men and it will affect the way he desires sex with you.

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