Wednesday, September 28, 2016

I Want To End It All.

Good evening Gods vessel, more grace.

I wrote to you sometime ago(2014) precisely about a marriage of eleven months that almost took my precious life. Thank Trinity I overlooked the mockery, carried my daughter and in my fathers house.
The guy is married now.


I have a guy I am dating now, but please I want to list out some characters he believes doesn't matter, but I know really matters.

Firstly,he sees nothing wrong in not calling me for days, he says and I quote" relationship isn't about communication", I just laugh each time he says that.

He uses a particular girl as his display profile on WhatsApp with a lovely status, I don't really ask him the relationship he has with the girl, but every mature lady would get jealous right.
I complained to his cousin who's also my cousin and the answer he gave was(I should just keep calm and watch him)

I have never asked him for a dime because I am by God's grace earning well.

This guy wouldn't ask me about my daughter, I know it's not his right to do so [but if you're dating a girl you claim you love, ina ajutukwanu ese ihe gbasara ya(you'll care to know about her needs)]

I don't cheat on this guy, yet he sees me as an option, maybe because I was once married or because I have a child.

I have tried talking even to my Pastor friends and have personally met with counsellors, but none gives me a satisfactory answer

That's why I have come for this heavens sent including you to advice me, because I am planning on sending him a text to end it all

More wisdom sweetheart
your words have sure kept me going


For taking the bold step when you needed to, I commend you. 
The first thing I think that you should do is return his dowry and officially file for divorce so that you can be free to remarry if you wish to. 
From all you have said about this man, I don't think this is what you need as a lady. 
I mean it's pretty obvious that he doesn't love you but is only there to perhaps get more attention to himself and make you feel as though he cares. 
The lady who is dearest to his heart is the one on his screen and if he genuinely loves you, he'll never struggle to communicate with you. 
Love evokes the spirit of giving and generosity, and if he can't give you his time and his care, then you shouldn't expect any dime from him because it won't come either. 
Anyone who loves you will also love everything about you, including your journey, your personality, and your daughter. If he can't accept you in all totality, why invest your time and emotions on him? 
Irrespective of what everyone or anyone told you, the plain truth is that you are not in a healthy relationship. 
And please do not accept anything less than what you desire. That you were once married doesn't mean that you should reduce your value as a lady or accept any man in the name of love. 
Give your best to your daughter and trust God for a man who is mentally, emotionally and psychologically prepared for a relationship with you.

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