Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Should I Discourage My Husband From Bringing His Brother To Our House?

Dear ma, I need your advice. I got married two months ago and my husband wants to bring his younger brother who is a nuisance to all his family member to our home in Lagos. Am disturbed because this is a boy who they thought was in higher institution only for them to find out that he was never admitted. 

All his school fees and accommodation fees are gone. He sold his father's generator and claimed it was stolen, he acts like he is mad sometime. Sold almost everything in the house up to plate, cups, bedsheets, his mother's wrappers, sowing machine, the house curtain, and he can't account for the money as he is said to have smoked marijuana (Igbo) at some point in time. 
When we got married he was taken to one of his sister's house, there he fought with the husband. Now she says she can no longer accommodate him. I find myself going to buy padlocks for all the room doors. Should I tell my husband not to bring him to our house in Lagos at all?

I know that there is a tendency to exaggerate some things but even in an exaggerated information, there are some evidences to the truth that cannot be erased. 
Fact is that he's now part of your family and your husband cannot push him off from his life because he's married to you. I'm also very certain that he's as worried and troubled as you are concerning the attitude of his brother, but suggesting that he shouldn't allow him to come won't be the best option for him. 
If your husband has some funds, maybe he should consider renting an apartment for him and enrol him to learn a skill or a vocational programme. 
If there is any other place where he can stay temporarily to enable both of you settle into your marriage, I will suggest that you encourage him to consider the option too. 
But where there is little or no other alternative, please make sure that you protect every of your belongings and ensure that he doesn't have access to your bedroom. Treat him with respect and pray for him, even when he does something that you're not comfortable with, always report to your husband and allow him to address him at all times. 
You don't need to get discouraged or perturbed by these realities, these are the dynamics of marriage that is unavoidable and inevitable. We can only hope and pray that God will arrest him and help him overcome this phase of his life. 
As humans you have every reason to be worried and angry with the latest development but see this as an opportunity to sow goodness to his life and allow God to perfect all that concerns him.

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