Thursday, September 29, 2016

Why Should I Hold On When He's Afraid of Commitment?

Good day ma! May God bless you.  When it comes to emotions we find it really hard to tell ourselves the truth, though some people would judge me for having a baby but then I had made a vow not to abort any baby again as have done it twice. 
We dated for two years and half before we had an issue about
CHEATING, we parted ways only for me to find out I was pregnant. I kept my baby alone, he only came into the picture when I was six months gone, story for another day. 
My baby was five months when I left his house, still because of the same CHEATING. He came back to my people begging that he has learnt his mistake, that before the year runs out he would do everything he begged, and took us back to his house. After some months we had a misunderstanding because I saw him flirting on the phone with another lady. I was hurt, I asked for an explanation, he simply told me I had no right to ask him as he isn't fully married to me, then he told me he's done I should leave. 
I looked at my baby nowhere to go to as I have only my mum who is a widow and she's busying looking up to me for a better life. I tried talking to him he then apologized, after some weeks I sat him down then I popped the big question "WHAT'S THE WAY FORWARD?"  
To cut the long story short, he simply told me he needed time to think, I gave him space. After a week I still asked him what's up, then he told me for now he isn't ready financially and mentally. I felt bad though but I am grateful he told me earlier as I would be clocking 24 years by November. In his words he said "the decision to continue staying or leaving solely depends on me". 
Why would I be holding on to someone who isn't holding onto me?  I would really appreciate your advice no matter how painful it would be am willing to move ahead. 
GOD BLESS YOU ALL


I appreciate your personality irrespective of your many mistakes and wrong decisions. Sometimes in our pursuit for love and affection, we may find ourselves in a relationship where our emotions takes a better part of our conscience. 
It's only an indication that we're humans who need God's grace to live in accordance to his purpose for our lives. 
Yours is not far from the obvious, you love him so much that you aborted two beautiful children with great purpose in life, but I still thank God that you kept the third one.
He was never emotionally prepared for the kind of commitment that you wanted from him. A man who supported you to abort your babies doesn't care about you nor does he have any vision for the relationship. 
He was only ready for sex and was afraid of any commitment to you. Since he has indirectly told you that he's no longer interested in the relationship, please brace up and move on with your life. I must add, please don't look back anymore. 
You're not a liability, having a child doesn't make you different from those who doesn't, it only makes you an individual who is under God's grace and mercy. 
Things maybe hard and tough for you but it won't be for long. Choose from today to live and live a life of purpose. 
Please if you can, avoid having sexual intimacy with men so that you can at least tell who genuinely loves you from who loves your body. 
Return to God who knows every bit of your personality and your journey, and ask for his mercy and grace in your life. 
Today is a brand new day to make amends and be a better lady. Work hard and take good care of your child and also discuss about the upkeep of your baby so that the burden won't be so much for you to bear. 
Even if he feels like getting married to you, I have serious reservations about his faithfulness to you, and I feel that he will always continue to cheat on you which I know that you are not comfortable with. 
So I suggest you consider moving on with your life and trust God for your own husband. 
Don't lose hope, God has blessed you with natural beauty, if you add godly virtues and good character to your beauty, I'm very certain that before the end of next year you will be married to your husband. 
This may look like the most difficult decision to make but it maybe the only way for God to perfect that which he has already promised to you. 
Cheer up and look forward to a better, brighter and a blessed future with your child.

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