Monday, December 12, 2016

Should I Lure Him into Marriage With Pregnancy?

Good day madam, please post this for me, I need advice.
I'm a young lady in her early 20's, I just graduated from the university. I met this man when I was in my first year in the university. He has been helping me out academically, financially and otherwise.
All these while we have been dating he is always praying for a wife but he has never asked me to marry him or bring up the topic of marrying me.
Two years ago while I was in school, I got pregnant for him which I was not ready for and I had an abortion for him with his consent. Few days after the abortion I always had severe abdominal pain with intense bleeding which lasted up to a month. He later called me that he is regretting asking me to go for an abortion that I would have kept the baby, just that I was still in school.
After some days I started lactating even when the baby was no longer there. I went for hormone assessment test which came out that my prolactin level was high, and the doctor prescribed some drugs for me which i'm okay now. We continued with our relationship.
Just recently he called me and told me that I should prepare for next year that God has answered his prayers, he will be getting married and that he also prayed for God to bless me. My problem now is that all these while he never told me he can't marry me, even till now we are still having sex. I don't know if getting pregnant for him now will make him change his mind because I love him and for some years now he has been the only reasonable man in my life. Thanks


From your mail, there's no indication or information that he will be getting married to another lady, or that he will leave you for another lady. He only said that you should prepare for next year, unless there are some information that you withheld in your mail. 
Again, trapping a man with pregnancy so that you can be his wife will definitely not work in your favour. If he's not in love with you, why force yourself on him? 
Granted that you love him so much, you don't need a man who will tolerate you or connect with you only in bed. You don't need a man who doesn't have a lifetime vision with you or a man whose interest is in sex and nothing more. 
It's a vain gamble that will backfire much later in life. 
It's best to lose him than to lure him into marriage with pregnancy. Also remember that there's no guarantee that he will marry you even if you succeed in getting pregnant for him. It will only make life more complex than you anticipated.
Return back to God, seek for healing and restoration, don't hold onto him, he's only human, he can fail or disappoint you but God won't fail you. You may have given your all because you love him, but he may not be the one God prepared for your journey. 
Seek the face of God with all humility and meekness, he will not forsake you. Prepare yourself for anything, if he marries you, thank God, but if he marries another lady, wish him all the best. 
I'm certain that you have had enough of sex, it's time to zip up and give your body some dignity and value. God is still faithful and able to give you a man who will not use and abuse your emotions but will love and behold you for the rest of your life.

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