Friday, January 27, 2017

How Do I Confront Him?

Good day ma and thank you for the good work you doing. I really need your advice because am very down emotionally. 
I am 24 and have been in a relationship with my now fiance who is 33 since my university days (five years now). He is one of a kind, caring, loving and in fact every woman's dream.
Recently he keeps telling me of a lady that works in UBA who has been disturbing him on Facebook when we chat or speak via call because he is far from me. 
He tells me each time, how she is desperate, that even after telling her he is in a serious relationship, it didn't stop her. I didn't see it as anything because I felt we don't keep things from each other. I usually tell him that the lady is wasting her time but the talk of this lady became too much that I decided to check his Facebook for the first time and I did that last night. 
Ma, after going through their conversation, my night was ruined, I couldn't sleep and I've not been myself since then. He was the one that requested for the lady's contact, her address and was planning to meet up with her before he travelled last year for his masters abroad, meanwhile he made me believe that the lady is the one chasing him. 
From their chat I saw that their conversation is not the type between just friends, virtually everything he tells me, he tells her, he calls her the way he calls me, even video calls and late night calls. He knows when she is bathing, sleeping, travelling, and she knows his activities too. He even tells her 'I miss you' and the lady knows when he is coming back to Nigeria... I mean things I thought only me knew. 
Ma I trust this man so much, I have never doubted his faithfulness and still don't want to but the trust is wavering now. I haven't confronted him yet about my findings and it's eating me up because am not the type that carries things in mind. I really want to know the right way to handle this issue, I am counting on your counsel ma. He became friends with her in early 2015, and started becoming intimate with her in June last year.

I will suggest that you don't reveal this information to him yet, but observe things and wait for him to return so that both of you can have a heart to heart conversation and find out exactly what is going on between both of them. 
Let's assume that this 'desperate lady' is the one disturbing him and harassing him, keep the screenshot of their conversation and don't let out your emotions. 
When he returns, both of you can sort things out and decide whether to continue with him or not.

You may wish to know that your fiancé is actually cheating on you, but maybe he's just trying to play the field .

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