Can We Make a Happy Home?

Good evening Madam
You are truly a blessing to us.
I’ve benefitted immensely from your wise counsel and I really wish to confide in you and your fans again.
Am a working class guy of 37 years, deeply in love with a law graduate of 26 years.

We’ve been into a distant relationship for three years and I was to propose her on Val’s day but instead I quitted the relationship because of the underlisted reasons:
1. We aren’t connecting or flowing, i.e we aren’t communicating and relating well…
2. Am feeling unloved, uncared for and unappreciated for my affection and care to her.

3. I had two negative dreams about us –

First one, we were to be joined together by a pastor but she pulled out.

Second one, I wanted to welcome her but she ran into a house, locked up and  refused to open the  door.

4. I gave our names to two persons in our church that claimed to be seeing vision (though, I don’t believe in them), but they said that she is not into me and that we’ll separate after marriage.

She came from a good home and  her parents likes me and they are working tirelessly for our relationship to thrive.

In fact, they advised us to see and sort out the issue but my fear is that, with the aforementioned warning signals, are we going to make a peaceful, lovely and happy home.

Note: I love her so much but I don't want to make mistake in marriage.

Let me start from your last statement, you love her so much. 

What will love do when there's poor communication? 

Love will seek to find out if there is any impediment or challenge or limitation that could have hindered partners from not communicating with each other? What could be responsible for the non flowing or relating well in your relationship? What can be done to improve on the communication in your relationship and strengthen your relationship? This is what love will do, finding a solution to the challenge. 

You feel unloved, uncared for, and unappreciated by your partner. When you say that you are not cared for or loved, or appreciated, what specifically do you mean?

I will love to hear from you before sharing my thoughts on that. 

You had two negative dreams? 

How do you hear from God ordinarily? Does God speak to you through dreams and revelations? Are you sensitive enough to discern the will of God from your emotions? Or you were looking for excuses to terminate the relationship, and your dreams came handy? 

Some dreams are not from God but from our own fears and feelings, so if you feel that they're valid enough to terminate the relationship, you can. 

You claimed that you don't believe in those men that see vision but your actions suggests otherwise. If you really don't believe in them, there won't be any need to submit her name to them, instead you will seek God on your knees and hear from God and not from men who are driven by their emotions, perception, and experiences in life. 

Let me help you by giving you some guidelines for your consideration. 

1. Who are you? 

At your age, exposure, and experience, who will you say that you are? 

2. What do you wish to achieve in your life? 

When you have a clear picture of what you wish to do with your life, you will have a better understanding of who you need. 

3. What values and virtues are you looking out for in your partner? 

Making your decision based on the flimsy excuses of your dream, vision, and not communicating well, suggests that you have no idea what you really want in a lady, so you're relying greatly on the perception and opinions of others to make a decision.

I will suggest that you take your time and seek the face of God, get hold of yourself and find out what you need for yourself. 

Her parents may love you but you need to find out if you are in love with your partner, and if you can live with her for the rest of your life, and not base your decision on the perception of those around you.

Take charge of your relationship, and go for what you need and not what others feel is good for you.