Monday, June 19, 2017

I Have Three Allegations Against Boo.

Aunty please help me out, so boo and I had a disagreement in the car and he wouldn't talk to me no matter how much I pleaded he should, so out of anger; I told him he had the choice to drop me or talk to me. He later went ahead to drop me (I.e) I came to visit him, I don't know my way around town, I didn't expect him to drop me too cause it was raining!...
ahh this dude had the mind to drop me oh, though I got down and banged the door. Called one of our mutual friends that came and took me to an eatery, then to ATM where I withdrew my transport fare,  and back to the park.
I had three allegations against boo
1. He dropped me under the rain in a foreign land.
2. He knew I hadn't withdrawn cash
3. He hurt me
Only for boo to tell one of his friends that I reported him to that I broke his side glass, ahh!! That when I banged the door, few minutes later, the side glass of his official car shattered.
Aunty, since I got this info, I've been feeling bad. But joro, like how much does it cost to repair window glass of hilux because when he calls, he's been abusing me, my villagers and descendants. That I lack home training blah blah blah. I'm even confused because the way he turned the table is magically unbelievable!
NB; I started apologizing oh, but the one that put him off I guess, was the SMS I sent immediately he dropped me "you will regret this act"... He's been saying I've done my worst I should expect his.
Na wao, so because I'm the lady, I can't get angry again or what?? Please help advice me aunty.

There was a disagreement... But you didn't share what the disagreement was, making it difficult for me to understand what happened and why he reacted the way he did. 
Secondly, the timing for your dialogue was poor. If there was a disagreement, it would have been healthier to wait until you got to your destination before discussing with him, not while he was driving. 
He wasn't communicating, meaning that he had so much on his chest, it was inappropriate for you to give him condition or ultimatum, thereby threatening his ego. When your partner is vulnerable, you don't attack, you help him get stable so that both of you can discuss about his grievances. 
You may want to pull the sentiment for his action but you're responsible for what you got, because you wanted to prove that you could call the shot which was what made him drop you where he did. 
Was his actions the best? Nope! Why then am I talking to you in such a manner? Simply because you could have approached him in a better way and resolve your differences with maturity, without allowing it to escalate to the height of banging the door and sending a hurtful text message to him. 
Did you break the side mirror of his vehicle? I wouldn't know, but I feel that there is a need for you to learn how to manage your emotions/anger so that you don't exhibit some tendency of violence when you are angry/provoked. 
Every human being has the right to how they feel, but how you react matters more than what happened. From your choice of words, I saw a lady who has the tendency of saying insensitive things to her partner when provoked (I may be wrong, but I'm only working with your mail). 
You need to understand the language of your man, and how you can reach out to him even when he's raging in anger. It is one of the most important weapons that you need to make your partner communicate more with you and appreciate you every time. 
Looking at what happened, I will suggest that you give him some time, don't exchange words with him, and don't try to prove that you want to pay for what got damaged. Apologize for what happened, and give him some space to cool off. He will most definitely come back to you if he loves you. 
Quit defending yourself or explaining yourself to anyone else, and focus more on understanding your partner and his communication language. 
Good luck.

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