I Want to Divorce my Husband!

Hello Amara, this is my first time of writing you, I wanted to write to you earlier than now thinking that I'll be able to cope, but it seems I can't anymore and I don't care what the consequence might be. I want to divorce my husband, and my story will be a little bit long.

When I finished my OND in school, I met him and we started dating. I made a very big mistake that I regret till today. I got pregnant for him, I didn't abort this baby because my religion is against it. I gathered the courage and told my parents, they were disappointed but the deed was done already.

I told my husband and he decided to get married to me last year March 12. I agreed to marry him because i love him. After two months of marriage, he lost his job but with the help of his family we were doing fine.

I didn't get to know him well during courtship, I never knew that he was this hot tempered type. He calls me insultive names, and I started to think that he married me out of pity and for the fact that I was carrying his baby.

He calls me useless, and I think it's because I don't have a job because I didn't finish my schooling before getting married to him. At times he talks to me as if he is doing me a favour. He isn't even romantic, he turned out to be a man that isn't my type.

He hasn't paid my bride prize, we only did Court wedding and started living together. My baby is going to be ten months now. I want to divorce him, but I am scared of separating my baby from her father, and I can't even tell my parent about this.

Am fed up with him and I dont know what to do. I need your advice.

The truth is that your marriage was built on a faulty foundation, because you married him legally as a result of your pregnancy, not necessarily because you loved him or desired to grow in love with him. 

Having said that, I will encourage you not to make a second mistake by deciding to stay in a dysfunctional marriage because of your child. Children are wonderful gifts from God, but children are not part of the marriage agreement or covenant. 

Irrespective of what happens to a marriage, children will still get the best of their parents. Do not make your decision based on the welfare of your child, but let it based on the fact that you are not happy and fulfilled in your marriage. 

Again, the most vulnerable person in this marriage is you, because your sanity, safety, and happiness depends solely on your decision, not on the opinion or perception of others, parents inclusive. 

You didn't really share in details those challenges you're experiencing with your husband, but if you no longer feel safe and happy with him, you need some space and time to decide whether the marriage is worth it or not. 

Whatever be your decision, please inform everyone about it, and take the necessary legal steps to dissolve the marriage. 

Like I said earlier, you don't fix that which was never built on a solid foundation of personal conviction and decision. Please follow your heart and save yourself from marital slavery.