Saturday, July 1, 2017

Am I Overreacting or Jealous?

Good evening ma, please help me, I really need an advice. I have been in a relationship for six years, he got a job in another state and spent more time there now, only come to our town of residence few days in a month.
He came back few months back and proposed, I said yes, and we are working on our wedding for December. I have not visited his work station; I asked to once, and he said it was not the right time then, that he has so much work to do then that next time.
He came for the sallah holiday and I was not comfortable with the calls he received, too many females called, even at 10pm not work related, just to ask how he is doing, what he ate and all that. Some called three times a day, I was forced to go through his phone and I saw some chats, there was this particular lady he said was a youth corps member serving in his station, they chat, she knows what he eats, when he sleeps and all. He even gave her the contact of his business caretaker over there before he travelled. This same lady asked him to download something for her.
I asked him and he told me she is a friend who helped him out, no strings attached, that he gave her the caretaker's number so she can check on his business while he is away, that he knows her as a friend of his, that he respects her, we ended up quarrelling over that.
He said he has so many female friends that are close and I can't stop him, and getting another woman is not a difficult thing. I told him that it is not bad having female friends but the rate at which he goes about their friendship. I don't understand why they all have to report when they eat, drink, sleep go to work and all, calling him more than once everyday.
I told him that there should be a limit or boundary with friends of the opposite sex, he got angry, and said so many things, that there is nothing wrong except they are talking sex, that I am just jealous.
I am now afraid and confused, am I overreacting or jealous like he said? Is he cheating, dating them? Should I go on with the marriage plans? Thank you. 


If they call at odd hours, check up on him and share things which ought to be private between both of you with them, there is a need for you to wake up from this romance you call love and find out things for yourself. 
To help you, plan an uninformed visit to his work station. Maybe you might see something worth taking note of; maybe you may learn more about his working relationship with these 'friends' of his. 
Don't make assumptions, but don't ignore any warning signs that you are seeing now to avoid regrets. 
If a man has proposed marriage to a lady, there are some things that he ought to put in place, and one of those are the way and manner he relates with other ladies. 
If he can't make some changes to accommodate your emotions and feelings for him, how sure are you that he will sacrifice himself to make you feel loved and happy with him.
Make your enquiries and findings before tying the knot to avoid getting tied to your own doom.

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