I Must be Blind and Stupid!

I found you on Facebook, I am so thankful!

I have been with a Ghanian man for seven years. I am 40 years old and he is 49 years old. I love him so much but he keeps breaking my heart time and time again. He I thought was married one time, that was his last wife(** I don't get that).

His first wife he married and they have a daughter together, she is a big woman now, I found a letter from his wife with regards to his first child. He ditched them when she was seven, he is an educated man and still pays child support but has not seen her in time. The letter I found was dated May 28th of this year from both the mother and her, I read it, he doesn't know I read it yet. I am just sitting back and watching, he doesn't talk much of anything about his grown daughter, and it's really sad.

The second wife never had any child for him. I often wonder what happened, he keeps telling me when I ask any type of question it's not my business. He is self suffient and he doesn't need too explain nothing to me. Sad Right?

He has shown no sign of commitment, we did live together and he made pointless excuse as too why he had to leave. We separated for less then a two year period, He has got me so upset, please let me explain..

I am of age to know better, this is why it is so shameful. He has been spending time with other women and I just found out that he had a baby with a younger 20 years old lady in 2013 while we were together. I must be stupid and I must be blind.

Now he has become distant, the time we spend together has become "just on weekends" .I found his old cellphone from 2013, turned it on to see if my messages were on it, only to find a girl saying she just told her mother it was the flu.. As the conversation went on, to my dismay he has been sleeping with her. I cannot wrap my head around it. This man is supposed to be a grown man, I haven't told him about the letter from his first wife, I never knew he married her... I only knew of the daughter... She's not the only lady, the list goes on and I am crumbling... There are more...ughh why do I love this man, why is the question I ask and I continue to find disappointing stuff out.

I can't believe this is happening to me, I am a very loving person with a kind heart. His mother has not even met me yet. I recently went out with a man, now his mother knows about it in Ghana and he is telling me his mother wants to know why???

He won't tell her what he's been doing :'( and put me in a bad light with his mother.. I know this info should break the deal, but I have stuck by him and bite my tongue and he's leaving a trail, I am so embarrasssed...

His mother knows nothing of this mess her son is in, he tells his mother he does the right thing, and prays to the Lord, I dont know what to say.

At 40 years, I am very disappointed in myself about my love situation. Please help with advice. Many thanks and blessings.

For the fact that you could send this mail to me, I have great faith that your legs,hands, and brain are functional enough to work together towards liberating you from this foolish thing you call love. 

Here is what I suggest, use your two hands to pack all your belongings, then engage your two legs to get a vehicle, and then encourage your mind to return back to your family. 

There was nothing in your mail that suggests that you are married to him; and even if you were married to him, these revelations are sufficient to help you understand that you are dealing with an immature old man who is still breastfeeding from his mum. 

Thank God that the 'love' syndrome is evaporating from your brain, it's time to take a walk and save yourself from mental depression or even psychological manipulation.

No need trying to emulate him by seeing another man while you're with him, simply move on with your life; you're single and you have the freedom to mingle.