Tuesday, October 17, 2017

My Partner Treats Me with Disrespect!

Good afternoon Aunty Amara, God bless you for bringing out your time to see to people's lives and relationships.
I'm in a relationship with this guy, we've dated for years (he has been a childhood friend, before we started dating in 2011), so last year I was invited to his hometown by him and his mom.
I went, he made known his intentions in the presence of his mom that he wished to spend the rest of his life with me, but he's not yet financially stable so that everything will be made official by next year.
Before then, I lost my job November last year, so during the stay he asked me what my plans were, I told him that I'm tired of staying in the city where I stay(we all lived in same city until he relocated to another city) because getting a well paid job is hard.
So he said that he will make a way for me to come over to same city he stays in. He paid for an apartment for me and bought some items, so I came over, but the challenge is that all of a sudden he now thinks that to respect a woman is a taboo.
He always wants to be in charge of everything I do, wants to know everything I do. Even, there was a day I went out with him, my phone rang and he picked it up wanting to speak with the caller, I got furious and told him that he has no right to take my calls and that he should stay clear my phone, and my salary is not enough, I just wish I could get a better job then I'm sure that there's nothing I will ever ask him to do for me, cause a times it's now like an insult to me.
Please Aunt Amara, as a little sister and as a daughter what do I do in a situation like this? I have tried talking to him heart to heart yet it proves abortive, he believes that everything in the relationship is all about him, he don't even know my choice of things yet he wants me to know his, tell him you wants to see him he will say that only when he wants to.
In fact everything is practically when it's comfortable with him.


My suggestion is simple, go and fix yourself and stop depending on a man who feels that he's doing you a favor by dating you or perhaps helping you. 
Think of a business, think of a skill, think of self development, and think of ways to add value to yourself. 
Under no circumstances should you allow anyone to toil with your personality as if you have no value as an individual. 
And don't rope yourself into slavery simply because a man promised marriage to you. 
You deserve better, and as my sister and daughter, I will spank you for allowing a man mess with you, and remind you that you deserve better.

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