Wednesday, November 22, 2017

I Hate my Husband Now!

Good morning ma, God bless your good works. Ma, I am sad, heartbroken and I hate my husband now..
I am 28 years old and five years in marriage.. He is a senior banking officer, when I had my daughter, he started complaining of no money, I kept wondering but told myself he could be saving. We barely ate good food, his mum died and he spent nothing less than a million Naira.
I was shocked but said nothing, he buys everything the child needs but when I say I needed anything, he'll tell me that there's no money.. The hair I made for the dedication was carried for three months, he never cared even when I asked..
Until I got tired of gossips, then went straight to the salon and cut my hair. He was shocked and started giving me some money for some months then stopped..
I am a teacher, each time I get a job, he makes it hard for me so I end up dropping the job. My kids can't go to same skool with me nor can they wait in a friend's place till I return... I begged ceaselessly for a business, he promised to do something, kept postponing till I found out he's cheating one fateful day, paid for the rent and upkeep of the single mum and her child..
I was mad, never knew I could be so angry, then I fought him and told him he must make a transfer of the money he promised that night, and he did but this man made sure I spent that money anyhow..
He stopped dropping enough money for anything, only paid fees, so I decided not to have a child again until now..
I had a new born two months ago, no upkeep or anything..
I am 28 years but look like 35, I don't know what to do anymore, I am confused...

Using the word 'hate' for your husband is a strong language which I feel you should address to avoid doing something that may be harmful to your husband or your children. 
Granted that you are hurt and frustrated by your husband's attitude and infidelity, please if you can't stand his presence anymore, take a walk from your home and take some time off from your marriage. 
You may need some space and time to evaluate your marriage and meditate on the future of your marriage. 
There are issues that must be addressed before you can consider whether to continue with him or separate from him. 
The first is the issue of taking responsibility in your marriage. 
Both of you must agree on how your home is run, and who contributes what for the upkeep of the home. 
The second issue is your job. It is inevitable that you must find something doing for yourself. Depending on your husband means torturing yourself financially, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. Such cannot continue if you wish to have your peace of mind. 
Finally, you need to address the issue of infidelity. For him to rent an apartment for another lady with her child suggests that there may be some relationship between him and her child... 
If these areas are not addressed, then you may need to consider your sanity and peace of mind over your marriage. 
But, I plead with you, if you cannot stand his presence, please consider separating from him temporarily, to avoid doing something that may cost his life. 
You can always work on your marriage, but if a life is taken, it can never be recovered.

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