Tuesday, December 5, 2017

I'm Battling with Depressed in my Marriage!

Mummy good afternoon, thanks for this opportunity. I got married in 2015 with three kids, and I am 25 years. Ever since we got married, I have been abused physically, mentally and emotionally.
My husband is the type that lies about someone for people to hate that person and support what he is doing. Anytime I hear his car horn, fear grips my heart. I dare not talk to him anyhow.
The last time he beat me, I was eight months pregnant, when he left, I packed my things and left his house with my two kids.
After everything, I came back and ever since, because of my parent's intervention, the beaten has stopped. He condemns me before his people, also calls my parents to try turn them away from me.
He is the type that will force you to say this to someone, go behind you and tell the person something else.
He drives two cars but haven't ever given me even ₦500 or bought cream or perfume for me, yet when I get money from my parents, he makes sure he collects everything from me. He stopped me from working but promised that I will work from January.
My parents wants to build a house for us now, but am scared that after the house, he might give me unbearable pressure or push me away.
Another problem is that my blood pressure is high 190/100 and I am really depressed. When I am alone, I keep remembering a whole lot of things he has done to me that I wish to forget: caught him with our maid, age 15, few months ago, sent her back afterwards.
Please I need your advice and prayers to remove this depression. I want to be happy to raise my kids.

You have tried to be a virtuous woman to him but it has only brought more depression, manipulation, pain and suffering. 
You have obeyed, lied, and accommodated too many rubbish, simply because you want to be seen as a good woman to him, but you are dying gradually. 
God gave you a functional brain, common sense, wisdom and understanding for you to live independently even in your marriage. 
You have deliberately left your brain because you wanted to keep your marriage. Now may I encourage you to use your brain and be an independent woman. 
Dust your credentials and start submitting them for job opportunities, stop doing all manner of things to please your husband and learn how to make your own decisions, say no when it is necessary, and resist every form of manipulation or abuse. 
Please stop trying to accommodate rubbish or succumb to manipulation. Open your mouth and speak up when you are hurting or angry. 
Now, take this information very seriously. Should your family decide to construct a home for you and your husband, all the documents of that house should bear your name, and not the name of your husband. 
I don't want to sound like a broken record, but if your family uses his name in the documentation, and things doesn't work as planned, you will lose much more, if not everything. 
So don't allow 'love' or whatever to push you into thinking that you should use his name in the house document. 
When you stop trying to be a virtuous woman and enduring trash from your husband, when you stop allowing your husband to use your personal brain to his own advantage, when you open your mouth and express your concerns and address issues, your depression will evaporate and you will be happy in your marriage or with your children.

1 comment:

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