Sunday, February 25, 2018

Is Calling Off the Marriage the Right Decision?

Good evening Aunty, sorry for disturbing you this time. I really need your advice ma, it's a bit long, please bear with me.
I wrote to you sometime last year and your advice helped me a lot. Ma, I gave my boyfriend a second chance because he came begging, claiming he is a changed person.
I thought he has changed for good, so I forgave him. He was acting nice since I accepted him back, not until I took in for him, though it wasn't intentional. I told him I was pregnant and he suggested I should go for abortion which I refused. At a point he has no option than to accept his responsibility.
He said he will come with his people during Easter period for my Introduction and paying of dowry. But I feel is far because I am a month and one week pregnant now. But ma this is not the issue here.
I visited him three days ago, and I went through his phone when he was away, and I found out through his chat he has slept with some of his Facebook friends of recent, even asking more of them out.
NB: I have caught him twice red handed! He begged and I forgived him.
So I confronted him with the chat, he was not feeling remorseful rather he was blaming me why I went through his phone, saying I saw what I wanted.... I have told him already am no more interested in the marriage, but I don't know if I took the right decision or not.
Please ma should I maintain my decision or allow him to come marry me, but won't let him touch me till further notice.
I am so bittered and heartbroken. I need your candid advice urgently ma, and that of your fans. I am losing my mind. God bless you richly. Thanks.

If you choose to marry him with all the glaring evidence of his womanizing, infidelity, and deceit, you will be exposing yourself to emotional, psychological, and mental torture. You will also be vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections, and/or pregnancy from other lady. 
If you decide not to marry him, then you will need to prepare yourself for the arrival of your child, and life after delivery. 
None of these choices is as rosy as they sound which is why you need to evaluate everything and weigh your options before deciding which is best for you. 
There is a level your forgiveness, understanding and wisdom won't carry you through should you decide to marry a cheat. 
There is also a limit to which you can endure as a human, and your efforts and sacrifices may never be sufficient to keep a marriage when your partner is not willing to commit himself to the marriage. 
This is a decision for your peace of mind, happiness, and fulfillment in life, and getting married to a man who may never respect your privacy and fidelity. 
This is a decision that may either make you miserable with your partner or resilient with your child. 
Unfortunately, you are the only one who is in the best position to decide which is more preferable to you and what is more important to you at this point in your life. 
No matter your decision, please prepare yourself to take responsibility for your child and your happiness in life.

1 comment:

  1. My wife was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. ( ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James


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