Monday, December 28, 2015

I Don't Want to be a Slave to Love!

Good day ma,I have read a lot on the advice your have been giving people and I must say you are really trying, may God continue to bless you ma.
Am a girl of 24 years but will be 25 by February 4. My issue is,I met a guy on Facebook months ago and I love him likewise him too. He loves me and I know,he has already introduced me to his parents and I have this feelings that they love me,his parents called my parents on Christmas day , they couldn't go and see them now due to the fact that am outside the country. But ma, the issue is I think my guy is moving too fast but he doesn't want to understand each time I address the issue,he use my pictures as his display pictures and also upload them on his timeline. He wanted me to do so too but am affraid maybe something might happen and people will start making mockery of me.
Now,this is really making him feeling insecured and he said I have something I am hiding from him or maybe I have someone am dating on Facebook that am still preserving, he wanted to show to the world about our relationship but am also scared not to have too much eyes on my relationship. And another thing about him is that he gets angry easily and I get pissed off with it,am a type that doesn't really love saying sorry except I see a good reason for doing so,my relationship with him almost ended this morning for this two reasons. Aunty Amara, please advice me,I love this guy so much that I don't want to lose him,he says I am proud but I don't think so just that I don't want to be a slave to love. Please advice me,what can I say or do to convince him about the uploading stuff,and not been able to say sorry is it a sign that am proud? Sorry for the long write up,I just want to pour out my mind. Thank you ma.

Not being able to apologise is actually a sign of pride and selfishness perhaps you didn't know about that. 
The reason is simple, when someone is hurt or feels hurt by an individual, a selfless heart will not look for a genuine reasons or a proof to apologise because that would be looking for justification before accepting responsibility for our actions or in actions and a delay in apologising to your partner will naturally create tension and anger in the heart of the other person thereby leading to what you may never have thought of or imagined. 
And it doesn't reduce your integrity or personality or identity to apologise even if you were innocent, apologising sets others free of anger and depression and gives you a better understanding of how their emotions works and how they reacts or responds to issues of life. 
So make amends and choose to give love by apologising even if it be for nothing just to help him become himself in the relationship.
As for the relationship with your partner, kindly let him know that you won't be making so much commitment until you have set your eyes on him and you have taken some time to understand his personality and his purpose for his life. 
You cannot build a castle in the air when you don't have any foundation under it and until you have set your eyes on him and have sat down with him and discussed about your experiences and personalities, I wouldn't suggest that you commit yourself to the relationship to avoid disappointments later on in your life. 
While we have few individuals who are genuine and real, there are tons of individuals who are fake and their intention is to capture innocent individuals and destroy their future.
If he chooses to celebrate you in any manner that he desires, don't discourage him but I would suggest that you keep things low until you are convinced and comfortable with his personality. 
So maybe when you have set your eyes on him and have made some enquiries about his personality and his family, then we can talk about whether there is a future with him or not but for now I don't think that there is a relationship between you and him but two individuals who have great desire to meet with each other and it's not a bad idea if you ask me. 

4 comments:

  1. I wonder if what the guy is in love with is the fact that you are outside the country. Your intuition is raising a red flag. I think you should pay serious attention to what it is telling you. All the best.

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  2. Hmmn, just be calm and take it easy without making wrong decision that van afeect your future.... Many guys out there are just dying to date people abroad in other to use them as stepping stone....pls pray and be vigilant.

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  3. Hmmn, just be calm and take it easy without making wrong decision that van afeect your future.... Many guys out there are just dying to date people abroad in other to use them as stepping stone....pls pray and be vigilant.

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  4. I hope his eyes are not set on marrying an abroad wife. Such men are really desperate and would trash you as soon as he gets his papers. Be careful

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