Friday, March 11, 2016

Is He Like my Ex?

Good afternoon ma, may God bless you for your love and care grow more in your grace, ma my heart is heavy as I write to you now, it's two weeks to my wedding and am not happy with what is going on.
I had a guy which I was dating before that almost lead to marriage but had to break up with him because he was violent, once he was angry he destroys my things. Now am in another relationship not only that but two weeks to my wedding now , now what I ran away from is about coming up, last night I was trying to discuss with my fiance it resulted into a serious augment that he ended up breaking my phone. He was angry because I was pressing my phone when he was talking to me, ma am scared could it be that he is like my ex?
Ma I need your advice.

In as much as I wouldn't encourage anyone to marry a partner who is emotionally unstable and has a poor anger management skills, I will not be helping you if I don't tell you to avoid anything that could trigger anger in your partner. 
For courtesy sake, if your partner was talking to you, you shouldn't be chatting with your friends or be pressing your phone especially when you knew that he was already at his breaking limit. 
I feel that you disrespected him by pressing your phone while both of you were having a heated argument. The best you could have done was listen to him or at best ignore him or calm him down but not to press your phone in his presence. 
That was just like saying "who's that fool talking to, if you finish ranting, you can go and sit down". Perhaps that was not what you had in mind but I feel that you could have done better than making a mess of his personality and that was why his ego rose up and crushed your phone. 
Well, I will encourage you to tell him to write to me so that I can have a word or two with him and then see how we can come to a better understanding on how to manage his anger especially when he's provoked. 
If you are no longer comfortable or at peace with him, though it maybe a day to the wedding, kindly cancel the wedding and save your life from an impending danger in the future. 
I hope that you will make amends and on his part I hope that he will make amends so that both of you can be happy with your marriage. 


  1. Am guilty in this one!!! Lazy to read books or other articles but can read Amara's post from beginning to end, once am fixed on my phone my husband calles me Amara. even He is complaining already but I try to curtail it though

  2. How can you be busy with your cellphone when you are discussing some important stuffs with your would be husband,probably the wedding stuffs and expect him to be happy with him?
    You simply disrespected and disregarded him and whatever he was saying.and you are here trying to blame the young man and attach irrelevant no try at all.put yourself in his place.whats so important in the chat/cellphone that you can't hear him out?abegi,go and apologise to the young man and stop acting childish


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